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I'm not ready!

7 replies

Jimjamjools · 21/03/2019 22:09

My baby turns 1 a week today. I'm not ready, I'm not ready at all.

I really struggled to bond with her at the start, wished the weeks and months away, desperate to get out of the little baby stage and to a point where she could be independent and I could regain some of my freedom. I went back to work when she was 5 months old, full time, so I didn't have to be stuck with her all day. The last few months we've really clicked now, she's walking and can entertain herself for a few moments. She laughs and smiles at me and has her own little personality and while I'll never compare to the delight and adoration she has for her grandpa (he is her favourite person on the planet!) I'm definitely her second favourite. But now in a week she went be a baby anymore, but technically a toddler. And I feel like I missed the baby stage because I hated it so much. It's not fair just just as I'm starting to love being a mum and love having a baby she's about to stop being one! I'm not ready to start saying she's 1 year old rather than 10, 11 months etc. I want to freeze this point in her life, this is the peak, and not have her keep growing, but stay my happy and independent-but-still-totally-needy baby.

I've planned a small but intricate party for her next weekend, just family invited, and when its daytime and I have work to do and planning I get excited about it, but at night when she's tucked up and I'm just lying in bed I get all upset. Silly isn't it? If recently post partum me could see me now she'd do anything to switch places and get to this stage, now I'm here all i want to do is go back to those early exhausting days and sit on the sofa snuggling my tiny baby again. sob

OP posts:
MummySharkBabyShark · 21/03/2019 22:15

Totally get it (10 month old here). For me it’s bittersweet as I can’t wait to see how my DC develops and grows for the next year.

Yolanda31 · 21/03/2019 22:19

Hi

it's ok. I think what you have said is probably very common. I also think we fall in love with our children over time it's normal that you are now so attached who wouldn't be. you can still snuggle her and baby her she is not too old at all. Just always enjoy the time you do spend and you will be fine.

Jimjamjools · 21/03/2019 22:19

That's an excellent way of thinking about it. Theres still so much I'm looking forward to - proper kisses (sometimes she opens her mouth and launches at me but not regularly so I'm never sure if it's a kiss or not), baking together, christmases, holidays, watching movies under the duvet on rainy sundays... but I'm still secretly hoping someone will come along and tell me that I'm wrong and that actually she'll still be classed as a 'baby' until she's 50+!

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cloudymelonade · 21/03/2019 22:28

Think about it this way, how different is she going to be the day before her birthday to the day after? Probably not very, it's just a number. You get to enjoy her just as much :)

LookImAHooman · 21/03/2019 22:32

She’ll always be your baby. Even at 50+. Know exactly how you feel; I’ve been there!

ssd · 21/03/2019 22:33

How lovely, you sound a great mum

My first baby is nearly 21 and studying abroad [sob]

Eggstatic · 21/03/2019 22:53

My first was a very difficult and fussy baby I remember wishing she could just tell me what was wrong but then I felt emotional when she started talking because she wasn't a little baby anymore. She's now a teenager who's always answering back but whether she likes it or not she's still my baby

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