Why have I not grown out of this shyness?

[Tempoaryname]

Ok so bit of a back story I was so shy at school i never uttered a word until I left. I was seen as just difficult as back then they didn't really look into things as much and my parents dont agree with labels.

Since growing up I am still not the most confident person but I manage to go about my day to day life. That is until days like today when I get put on the spot to take over the class and i just cant do it. I literally freeze and my eyes fill with tears. Luckily there was someone else who jumped in for me but I just felt like such an idiot not being able to do it. I talk to these people every day and there are only 7 kids but still cant.

Has anyone else suffered from this and how did you get over it.

Hi OP, it sound like you became so anxious today that you 'froze' and were unable to speak. You mention that you did not speak during your time at school; google Selective Mutism and read up on it. My DD has selective mutism and I can relate to the things you have said. I hope you manage to have a relaxing evening and remember this is not your fault

I'd also suggest seeing your GP and talking about this with them. Perhaps some anti anxiety medication could be of benefit to you? It treats the symptoms but not the cause, but it could make life easier for you.

There seems to be a link with Selective Mutism and Autism. Get researching!

Thanks I will book an appointment for next week. I often joke about not talking at school because thinking back I forget that I just couldn't and instead feel like it was a choice. Its only times like the other day that I remember the paralyzing fear I feel. I also get the same in interviews if they are very formal. I only think I got this job as I was not talking across a desk. I really need to get over it as it's the thing that seems to hold me back so much. I am always stuck in just above min wage jobs and know I can do more but just freeze at the first hurdle, or if I do manage to talk I scratch my finger to bits so look mad sitting there with a hand full of blood.

CBT can totally sort this for you, do it! 😊

Thank you. I'm not a fan of drs and usually avoid them but I cant carry on trying to ignore this problem.