My friend’s baby has chicken pox and we are going around for dinner. Should I cancel?

[BBrush]

Hello, my friend just told me that her baby has chicken pox. My partner, my 5 month old and I are meant to be going around her new house for dinner on Saturday. I don’t know much about chicken pox - if we arrived after her baby was in bed, could my baby still catch it? Or would they need to be in direct contact? Sorry for my ignorance, I’m sure you all have way more knowledge... I don’t want to cancel on her but I definitely don’t want to risk him getting the pox at such a young age either. What should I do?

Cancel. Tell her it'll take the stress off everyone and tbh I'd not go into a house where the pox had been wit a young child. All illnesses carry risks but I'd not invite the pox infection as the risks can be devastating.

I would cancel. I wouldn't go with older ones but yours is far too little, and even if he got it now because he's under 1 he wouldn't get immunity so he will get it later on too.

it can be spread by touching things the baby has touched (if you put your baby on sick babies play mat etc) so I would probably stay away.

Cancel dinner until their child hasn't been contagious for at least a few days. It's not worth risking your baby getting it. Chicken pox can be awful.

When did baby get chicken pox? They will be contagious until the spots have crusted over.

Are there any other DCs (or adults) in the house who could have been infected and are in the incubation period where they would be infectious too?

Personally I wouldn't go if there's any risk of your baby catching it, CP would be horrible for a 5 month old.

Chicken pox isn’t that bad and you want to get it done with. However, if they are tiny it’s a bit more risky and if under one they can also get it again so no point trying to get them infected x

Surprised your friend hasn’t hasnt had the sense to cancel anyway.
Especially when your baby is so young that’s really irresponsible of her.
Doesn’t suggest her approach to spreading illness is very good does it?

Do not go.

I'd postpone. When all the spots crust over it stops being contagious, but that can take up to two weeks.

Your baby is still tiny, and tbh I wouldn't want to be hosting if one of my DC were ill.

Cancel.

It’s the risk of intentionally exposing your child to it and them being one of the very few, very rare children that are seriously ill from the pox
My sis in laws had a pox party when dn had it
The other sils kids both got it. Nephew was fine. Niece wasn't
I have a niece in her late 20’s who’s degree educated n married with a dd
Another who can never live independently, drools and can’t make safe decisions as she can’t yet tell the time etc etc
The mother of the brain damaged niece is an alcoholic drug addict thanks to the guilt.
It’s so sad. If she’d just caught it then 🤷🏻‍♀️ But it destroyed a lot of family relationships

Cancel. Chicken pox can kill. At best it would be really uncomfortable for your baby.

Personally I would go but I'm of the school of thought that the younger you get chicken pox out of the way the better. Although a pp who mentioned immunity not sticking in under 1's makes sense. My DS got it at 9 months mildly then again at 2.

Both my DC's had it as toddlers which I think was much easier to handle than when I had it and my brothers had it in primary school.

Of course if you or your partner haven't had it I wouldn't risk it.

Chicken pox isn’t that bad and you want to get it done with.

It can be mild, it can be horrible, but don’t underestimate it. DD has it at 9 months and had a temp of 39 degrees for 4 days, and was covered in clusters of spots the size of 50ps. I estimate that 30% of her tiny body was covered. DS was similar, he was 3, and cooed with it slightly better. I would try and avoid a baby getting chicken pox if possible.

Definitely don’t bring the baby, even if the infected child is asleep in another room.

There are loads of other options if you really don’t want to cancel - leave your baby at home with partner and go on your own; the friend could come to your place or to a restaurant if she has a partner or babysitter to stay with the baby etc. but whatever you do, please don’t knowingly expose your 5-month old to chicken pox. And be extra cautious about hand hygiene and changing your clothes before returning to handle your own baby. Simplest of all though is do not go.

I’m horrified by the cavalier attitude to it in the UK and even the alleged benefits to getting it out of the way early to gain immunity don’t apply under one year old, as said above. I am a big advocate for the vaccine - even if your child is one of the lucky ones with no enduring complications, why on earth would you want them sick and unwell for a week or more when a simple vaccine can prevent it.

Both my dc caught chicken pox, I did not deliberately expose them though.

The burden of having dc is making decisions on their behalf and hoping for good outcomes. If you ever deliberately put your child at risk then you are an absolute fool. We all take risks every day but you need to learn to balance risk/benefit.

Just to add though this is about vaccines as PP has mentioned vaccinating . I was born around the time the measles vaccine was first available in the 1960’s. My Mother did not have me vaccinated, I caught measles I then had complications and encepahalitis. I had severe fits for three years from age six till nine. I could read quite well before I went to school, tell the time and tie my shoe laces. I had to relearn all this. To be honest I’m lucky I survived.

Do not go!

I was told that if a child under one develops chicken pox that the immunity isn't as good and they are likely to get it again.

Plus. I'm assuming your child will go to school? So they are bound to get it at some point! Wait until they're a bit more robust.

Both of mine had it this year. My son had the mildest case anyone had seen. Less than 15 spots on his body that didn't look bad at all and that were never itchy.

My daughter had it awful. They were everywhere including inside her genitals.
And just to make the experience a bit more enjoyable she got hand foot and mouth at the same time.

I don't see how a 5 month old could've experienced that without becoming extremely unwell.

Chicken pox can be very serious for babies. One of mine was born with it and was seriously ill for a few days (scbu, turned blue etc).

@sycamore54321 my DD was born overseas where having the chicken pox vaccine is standard for all, like MMR. I was surprised when I came back here and found that as you say, parents seemed to want their children to catch it. I've friends with scarring on their faces as a result of having the pox.

Cancel, your baby is too young to risk catching it

I'd definitely cancel. Pox is at best unpleasant and at worst dangerous. It's super contagious.

The vaccination can be given from 13 months (privately, not available on the NHS at the current time). My eldest had it and my baby will be having at as soon as she's old enough. It's rife at playgroup at the moment and so far eldest has been totally fine!

Dont go, just not worth it!

I'm not sure your friend will be up to having a dinner party with an ill baby.

But don't go. My youngest had it really bad, it wasn't fun. However my DS and I both had it at 5/6 months old, I have not had it again and ds at 11 hasn't, even with the massive exposure with his younger sister.

Cancel. My daughter was 7 when she contracted chickenpox, it very nearly killed her or left her with brain damage, thankfully after a spell in PICU she was OK but it could've been very different. I would not knowingly expose such a young baby to CP.

Getting chicken pox under the age of 1 increases the chances of childhood shingles. My dd had cp at 6 months and shingles at age 3