Why does my friend withhold her number?

[IzzyGee]

She calls my landline from her landline. One day I might just ask her about it but I don’t want to pry. It started years ago after she and her DH had been through a rough patch. I have always felt uncomfortable witnessing some aspects of their marriage.....he can be a bully......but she can be as bad back.......they bicker and fault find continuously.

I can’t really think of any reason why you’d need to withhold your number if you were honest in your everyday dealings with people. The only example is withholding your mobile from your employer......quite a few of my colleagues wish they’d done that and a few have deliberately changed their numbers after finding it worked more in our employer’s favour than staff. (For example ringing on your day off with queries or trying to reschedule your shifts with less than 24hours notice.)

Mine does it automatically as it’s ex-directory 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have a permanent thing on my landline withholding my number, I would think it very odd if somebody read too much into it. I would totally not care if anybody asked. I very occasionally use my home phone to telephone people for my job, and I do not wish them to call me back at home. It is not a big deal. I could put in a number every time and withhold it, for each call, but it's more hassel.

Yes I think I might be reading too much into it. I have sometimes wondered if it was something to do with his controlling tendencies but couldn’t quite work it out. She had an affair and once that was behind them she was very submissive...and he was kinda triumphant....and it was around then that the number withheld started.

Now she complains I never answer the phone......well if I knew who it was I might.

suggest she lets it ring twice then hangs up and rings again. Then you can answer it knowing it is her

Ours automatically withholds.

I think a lot of people withhold their number don’t they? I don’t think it’s strange, or that it signals anything. On the flip side though, lots of people don’t answer withheld numbers, which creates a bit of an impasse!

Oh, it's such a thing!

MN has shocked me into discovering how many people... okay women- will, under no circumstance answer a phone unless they 100% know who's on the other end.

And as for answering the door bell unless prearranged and confirmed

Then we moan about how alone we feel.

I have mine permanently withheld. If I call a company for something I don't want to get marketing calls from them.

I scan my calls (caller ID) and only answer calls to my landline from people I know. Friends and family text or WhatsApp me. Anyone else can leave a message and I'll respond if necessary.

I don't answer from withheld numbers. Usually because it's some idiot trying to sell me something. Or worse it's work asking me to come in on my day off! Surely you have a voice mail facility? Just tell them to leave a message and you can ring them back

suggest she lets it ring twice then hangs up and rings again. Then you can answer it knowing it is her

Seriously? Why do you need to know who it is before you answer? Our phone doesn't have caller id so I never know who's on the other end. It's never been a problem.

Some calls withhold numbers unintentionally because the two networks involved in the call have a miscommunication with each other. When my MIL phones we get her number on caller display 50% of the time, and anonymous the other 50%. Its not always deliberate.

Mines with held. DH set it up like that years ago and we haven't changed it. I only use the landline to call my mum these days.

My parents phone used to do this, it was set up like that as a default and they didn't know how to change it. It was annoying because I don't answer withheld numbers if I am busy or at work (99 percent of them are marketing calls). So I changed it for them when I went to visit.

Your friend might not even know her number is being withheld, if no one has mentioned it.

Why do you need to know who it is before you answer?

I never answer calls on our land line. Its almost always only ever rung by people trying to sell me things, often pretending to do market research, foresooth. I check the messages probably daily but don't waste my time being interrupted or disturbed. Why would I?

You are overthinking this.

I would be very passed offf if I thought a friend of mine was inferring all sorts of things about my personality and relationship from my phone settings.
And going in tne Internet to discuss it.