Have I let my son down?

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I have just had my sons reception parent evening and I feel really deflated and unhappy with the school, can anybody help me put things into perspective?

When my son started school he already knew all his phonics, CVC words and some ‘tricky common words’ and he could write a simple sentence his preschool taught him these skills, I always compleated his homework and helped him with his reading etc at preschool. I looked at my sons school work book today and it was awful, very messy, no proper sentences formed and his writing was atrocious, it is as though he has gone backwards in his ability? I feel he knows less now than when he started school! I’m at a loose end on what to do.

After the appointment with the class teacher myself and my husband had to fill in a school preformance review, I gave lots of positive feedback but had a few concerns I wanted to raise a few issues such as the gender stereotypical labels in the classroom (all the boys has pirates/robots etc on their pegs while girls have princesses/fairies etc) the teacher replied with something along the lines of ‘oh I hadn’t thought of that,’ am I right thinking ‘WTF’ has she been asleep though the whole of the #metoo movement? I don’t want somebody so unaware of important issues teaching my child.

Secondly I raised with a governor the state of the school dinners and amount of sweets been given at school. I asked why unhealthy pudding are being served daily to get the response ‘most kids are used to puddings’ I asked about the unhealthy breakfasts of waffles and daily chocolate brioche ‘ all breakfast are in the recommended calorie brackets’ I wanted to reply with ‘well so is six teaspoons of sugar but I wouldn’t feed my child that for breakfast’ but I bit my tongue.

I feel utterly rubbish that I have let my son down, am I being utterly stupid or are my concerns valid? What do I do now?

The learning is the most important thing and it should be flagged up that you’re “confused by his apparent lack of progress” the pp who says that reception is also about social learning is absolutely right so bear that in mind to. The gender stereotyping IS important those pp’s saying “get a grip” are doing children a disservice and as the mum of a Dd who has gender dysphoria attitudes like theirs frankly make me want to shake them!! I’d approach the head about the stereotyping. Ultimately though, as I have learnt through having several children in he school system if you’re not happy you have to “vote with your feet” and that “no school will deliver exactly what you want”. If you want ultimate control over how/what your ds learns you’ll need to home educate (I’ve also done this for periods of time with most of my children).

You haven't let him down.

Pegs are enough. It's 2019! Ours are just coloured rectangles with the name printed on. And it's bits boy/girl colour. It's colour order as blank sheet cake up on screen and alphabetical order as it's just easier and faster that way.

With regards writing. There will be leaks and troughs. It's dependent on so many variables and it's probably his focus is elsewhere. If he can do it - that's what counts.

School meals are designed to cover 1/3 of daily nutritional recommended intake.
So lunch is fine.
I would also moan about that breakfast - it's quick fix sugars rather than slow release carbs and balanced

• Packed lunch and tell him to ask for weetabix or suchlike in the morning, they'll have it, he'll just be choosing the brioche ✅

• Coat pegs, not great, not the end of the world though also fuck all to do with #metoo ✅

• securely writing a simple sentence, with legible handwriting, a capital letter and full stop is a year 2 objective. There is plenty more he can get his teeth into if he has that boxed off ✅

There you go - you can unclench it's all sorted now! Trust me, learn to not sweat the small stuff otherwise the teens will actually finish you off 🤣😢

I am surprised that he had homework at pre school, especially writing.

I wonder if in pre-school he had much more hands on help when doing his writing. Also maybe he was copying things. Whereas in YR he is left more to his own devices, IYSWIM. I am sure he will be doing handwriting practice, but they will also be encouraging him to be creative and expand his vocabulary.

“I am surprised that he had homework at pre school, especially writing.”

Quite. I think you have been misled by a pushy pre school. Children don’t need ‘pre school ‘. Reception IS pre-school. Before that they should be in nursery, exploring the world through play, developing fine motor skills etc.

My guess is he was supported by rote to do all that writing before he was ready, and is now learning again to do it independently.