Should I let the school know I am ill?

[Cupidity]

I have 2 primary aged dc. I've been poorly (initially a bacterial bug that now seems to have bloomed in to properly scary illness). I am blessed to have a dh who can work from home plus the school mums have rallied round and are helping with school runs, childcare, etc.

However I've noticed my dcs behaviour at home is a lot more fractious than usual (understandable really) and I'm trying to explain to them what s wrong with me in really simple terms without worrying them. But I suddenly thought gosh what if they start acting up at school? Would it help if their teachers were more informed about their home life at the mo?

I'm probably over thinking this, but I'm naturally quite private (school mums know I'm ill, but not how it has progressed) and I don't really want anyone to know.

So teachers (and parents) of mumsnet should I let the school know (it's quite a small school,several of the school mums work there and I'm sure gossip will probably sread)

I would send an email or a note with a brief explanation, they can then support your dc's if behaviour is an issue at school, and also they have an explanation if homework etc is below normal standard. Hope you get better soon!

Yes! As a teacher, totally. Children do act up when a parent is ill, and often more so at school because they are holding it together at home so as not to put more worry on the ill parent. It is really helpful for us to know, right from early primary up to teens (I've worked across the whole age range). Get well soon!

Yes, I think it is important that you let them know. They can give your children the support they might need.
There are two ways to play it if you are concerned about privacy:

• a general note, I am currently having some poor health, and it has changed the family dynamics. As a result xxx has had a few wobbles at home. We are reassuring them as much as we can. If there are any changes to behaviour in school please let me know.

• tell head details, making it absolutely clear that this is need to know info only, and is not to be discussed. They can then make this clear to individuals that do need to know.

However, I get that gossip/ being talked about is not nice, but perhaps the community want to support you? Sometimes opening up could be a positive?

Only you know your family and details, but I do think it is easier for a teacher that has an idea of what is going one

Thanks for your replies. Had a bedtime chat with my daughter and she said she told her teacher that I went to hospital last night and they found some letters in my leg!!! totally outing but I have DVT

I was very poorly when my daughter started school this summer, then needed surgery and had a lengthy recovery. My DH told my daughter's teacher, which helped piece together snippets my 4 year old had relayed and helped them manage the "I want mummy"/"I miss mummy" out bursts...I was at home for most of my illness bar a few nights in hospital, but couldn't do school runs, family days out, etc. They also encourage her to make mummy a get well card, draw me pictures etc. which was lovely.

Please please let school know. Its so much easier as a teacher to say the right thing if you have some idea of what's going on at home.

Even at secondary it's useful to know if home life is unsettled for any reason. An extra bit of pastoral care can really help students.

I was really glad I told dd1's reception class teachers when I had a pregnancy related condition with dc3. The next week I ended up having an emergency admission to hospital and was in for two months. The teachers really looked after her as she was missing her mummy and gave her lots of cuddles. It was so reassuring to know if she was upset they could comfort her and school helped take her mind off worrying about me.

Yes, definitely let the school know what's going on. I was seriously ill a few years ago and spent a couple of months in hospital. DCs schools were so supportive and it helped having it on record when one DD suffered PTSD afterwards. She got the help she needed and her teachers were amazing.