Help with self harm

[JustNotSureWhatToDo]

My dc 14 self harms, it's a coping mechanism - cutting with a blade arms and legs.

Is on anti depressants and under a psychiatrist at Camhs.

I have read so much information on it but I am confused.

All the alternative mechanisms are not an option (drawing, punching pillow, going for a walk etc) they just want the relief of cutting.

Some advice is to lock away the blades others to not take away as the alternative could be worse.

Can anybody give me advice of a parent who has been through this and found a helpful solution?

Thank you.

Not a parent but I was a 14 year old self-harmer for the same reasons.

In the short term try encouraging them to replace the pain/relief cycle of cutting with non-permanent pain, such as holding an ice cube.

Locking away sharps is pointless, they're obtainable outside the house and will likely make them feel like you cant trust them to not be near a blade at all, or that they are defined by their cutting.

Other than that it's just lots of therapeutic work, probably some relapses and then eventually learning healthy ways to deal with emotions. Good luck to your child and to you.

Not a parent of a cutter, but a previous self harmer.
The urges to cut went away once I dealt with the things that made me feel so horrible about myself. Sometimes the urges still flare up when I'm stressed or something triggers a childhood memory that still needs healing, but I've learned to use healthier coping strategies over the past 10 years.
Most importantly, I had a lot of therapy to deal with abuse I'd experienced as a young child.
Also the self harm got worse before it got better. It's a coping strategy, and when dealing with difficult things in therapy one tends to use the coping strategies we're used to.

Encourage your daughter to develop other coping strategies that will help her deal with whatever negative emotions are making her self harm.

Eg encourage her to journal, to paint, to draw, to play a musical instrument. Journalling and painting especially helped me process my trauma, and learning to play guitar helped me feel more accomplished.
Encourage her to get out and exercise or go for a walk everyday. This will help increase dopamine and seretonin.

Most of all, don't make this about her self harm. Self harm might seem like her biggest issue, but self harm is just a symptom of a bigger problem going on inside her. Encourage her to talk to you whenever she feels like self harming, and to come to you if she has hurt herself badly and needs first aid, but other than that don't talk about the self harm, and try not to make a big deal out of it or look disappointed every time she does it. This just feeds the desire to self harm, as she'll feel like she's disappointing you if she does.

If she's getting therapy, and working on whatever issues caused her to want to hurt herself, then it will resolve. Try to be supportive and encourage her to talk to you about past experiences that may have been traumatic for her.
And remember this issue won't resolve overnight. Be patient, be kind, and don't over-react to it in the meantime.

A therapist on Youtube, Kati Morton, has some great videos on the subject, i'd encourage you to watch and also share them with your daughter.

Good advice above. Yes a mum of a daughter who used to cut.
It's a maternal instinct to focus on those scars and pain, want to kiss it better just as we did when they were babies. It's so hard for a mum to get beyond that.
It is not the main problem, it's a symptom and it makes them feel better so drawing attention to it doesn't help them. She won't want bandages and plasters, she will just want to hide her wounds.
It lasted a couple of years and after good MH care she recovered and is now a happy and healthy young woman.
Don't ever stop being proud of her, she needs you, but at her own pace.