How far is too far to expect a parent to drive?

[AhhhHereItGoes]

I was just wondering how far is fair to expect parents to drive to a birthday party?

I'm setting up a party for DD1 turning 6). We have a smaller town nearby and a big city about 25 minutes away.

Is this too far to expect them to drive to the city? Or should I just invite and they can decide for themselves if it's too far?

Thanks for your input.

That sounds like nothing to drive. But do you know whether all invitees do drive? It could easily be over an hour for anyone taking public transport.

I wouldn't drive 25 minutes to a party unless it was DD's best friend. It wouldn't be worth driving back so I'd have to entertain an upset other child because his sister has been invited to yet another party and he hasn't. That's if I had the car, not a given, DH might need it for work. I'd expect a party to be local and easy to get to.

If you want big numbers I’d go local. If you want to do something that can only be done in city then just invite a smaller group of close friends and maybe double check with parents first that they can make it.

@NotComingBackAnytimeSoon I let the parents know as long as they stay with their child siblings are more than welcome just let me know in advance.

I hope your son starts to get invited to more parties.

Nearest soft plays to us are 20/25 minutes away so it’s common to have to drive that far. Wouldn’t be a problem at all.

Could you give lifts to the children you've invited? Or at least set up a whatsap group so everyone knows who else is going and they can arrange carshares. I agree, I hate it when a birthday party for one child turns into a full day outing and the other one needs dragging along too.

We live inbetween two cities and most birthday parties have been in one of them. About 10 miles to each city, it's not been a problem. People often sort out car shares for pick up and drop off in advance.

As someone who does not drive I'd find this stressful

DD was once invited to a party she desperately wanted to go to but it was miles away., 40 minute drive. I looked at buses and concluded there was no way I could manage it (5 1/2 hour round trip with 4 changes) asked for lifts but unable to get one 0r at least one cared to respond to my request (and its horrible to ask) and eventually spent £50 on a taxi

If you're going to do it please offer lifts and arrange for a few other core people to do so

(oh and before anyone tells me to learn to drive I don't drive for medical reasons)

DS2 went to a party that was 50 minutes away. That was a one-off as it's the only rollerskating place anyway near us. I wouldn't fancy doing it too often but now they're at High School, parties are long gone thankfully!

Given how many people drive an hour or more each way for work I wouldn’t expect twenty five minutes to ruffle any feathers.

Twenty five minutes really isn't far for anyone that can drive. Lots of people will probably car share and organise lifts between them.

That wouldn't put me off, surely the party parents can arrange lifts between themselves. I don't know any non drivers as I live somewhere without useful public transport but they could ask for a lift too.

I would go for the closer town if there are any good party options there, but if not I think 25 mins would be ok.

@cottonwoolbrain I can't drive either. But my Dad does and so does DHs parents. It's more if we have enough car seats but we are happy to take people if we know in advance.

Thanks everyone. Will put to contact us if need any lifts.

30 minutes driving wouldn't really register with me, over 45 minutes would.

It depends what the norm is.
Here that would be fine, and invitations would be sent via a WhatsApp or email group so people know who is invited and can arrange lift shares.