Sorry this is so long!
To paint a brief picture, I have a nearly 9 month old, baby daddy and myself split up before he was 5 months as he cheated on me, and admitted he hadn't been in love with me since Before I got pregnant, but never said anything. Yeah, ouch.
We're still currently living together,there have been ups and downs.
His mother is soon getting the keys to a house she has bought nearby, and he's moving in and helping renovate. (the issues of his slightly controlling mother helping looking after my child then is a whoooole other thread.)
He's also looking at potentially getting a well paid job, that will allow him to travel, be away for weeks at a time and save money (if he learns how...)
Meanwhile, I'm left without a job, no transport, full responsibility of little one, living on benefits and I'm going to have to move into a council house, alone with baby.
I used all of my saving to get into this place, borrowed money off my grandparents - even emptied coin jars id been saving for up to five years! I have nothing left. But it was worth it as it was going to be ideal raising a child here. I'm devastated.
I grew up the way that my son is going to, and I never ever wanted that for him.
I don't know what to do.
I want - no, NEED to go back to work full time, but I won't be earning enough for at least a long time to cover bills, living and childcare costs. Im also trying to learn how to drive but don't have the funds, so it's going to be a loooooong time. Add on transport costs to get my son to a nursery, me to work, and both of us back again.
Baby daddy currently has his license suspended so I can't rely on him.
I feel totally and utterly trapped.
I'm trying to make some money where I can but am hardly having luck.
I want to get off benefits ASAFP. I don't want to stay in a council house, I need my independence. I'm in an area where the council housing are rarely in nice, safe places, and I'm s*t scared and crazy anxious.
I want to be able to provide my child with the things he wants and needs, we rarely had that growing up. It sucks that his dad who caused all of this mess for me will be able to give him what he wants, even take him on holiday and I might never be able to.
I feel so much resentment towards him, it's like everything's getting handed to him on a silver platter, whilst I'm occasionally thrown a scrap. Its affecting my mood with my baby now too, which is just unfair to him.
I left my job and moved cities whilst I was pregnant because of baby daddy.
I honestly feel like I'm headed towards a mental breakdown.
What would you do in this situation?
Anyone have any useful information?