He was going to leave us

[Cottagepienpeas]

Saturday dp went on a stag do. He was drinking for 8/9 hours, all fine no problems I don't mind that kind of thing. We were due to go to a family meal on the Sunday, I told him several times leading up to this I will not go anywhere with him in the car if he gets too drunk as he would still be over the limit and legally unable to drive, I would not risk that with my children, never. (I cant drive fue to epilepsy) I even sent him an online calculator which shows how many hours after you are safe to drive.

Anyway he ended up staying out all night, text 9am Sunday I'm coming home we'll get ready and go. He thinks this is okay, 1 not to come home and 2 to drive our dc 40 miles and back when he will CLEARLY be over the limit.

I told him no way am I risking that, did the calculator in front of him but no, it was my fault we didn't go. He got so shitty with me making out it's my fault. This is the part I'm struggling with, he packed his bags dumped them by the door and was ready to leave us. He didn't in the end he just sulked (always does this when he doesn't get his own way). I just cannot believe he packed his bags. I've never seen this from him. We're fine, the odd spat but nothing major. Beautiful dc, a baby too. He was going to leave us. Shocked to the core.

Sorry don't actually know why I'm writing this.

I'd have helped him pack.

He was being a dick.

Exh did this multiple times.
The best day was the time I told him to leave.
He is a bastard messing with your head op.

Leaving isn't a game. If he packs again, put him out

I'd have taken the bags out and left them on the path. CF!

Really your mistake was not having a plan B to get to the meal. I wouldn't fret like this again. Always assume he's going to let you down

He's upped the head games, tell him the next time he packs his bag he's welcome to fuck off for good. Nip it in the bud now.

He was probably still drunk.

Stays out all night drinking - is this a regular occurence?

Sounds like he knew you were correct re the being over the limit, but didn't want to admit it, so played the fucking drama queen to effectively change the subject. Twat.

If it were my DP, I'd be suspicious about what went on the night before! Threatening to leave after a all nighter is a guilty conscience talking!

Threatening to leave after a all nighter is a guilty conscience talking

This.

Coming home at 9 am does not mean he was drinking till 9 am.

When did he stop drinking, how much had he consumed and over how long a period? Or are you saying he was out drinking till 9 am and staggered in drunk?

Presumably the family meal was important to you but he decided not to prioritise it over the stag do, Sounds like he is a selfish idiot, you could do without another child playing games. However I suspect you feel you "need" him because of your medical condition and will choose to tolerate him and his manipulative behaviour.

No I don't need him, my epilepsy is under control. I am strong, independent.

He stayed at a friends. But after drinking from 3pm he would be over the limit and I will not risk that with my dc.

He stealthy unpacked his bags last night and has come home from work this evening like nothing happened.

What was booked first? The stag do or the meal?

Gerggers does it matter and you I don't know! The point is I will allow nobody to drive my kids when they'll be over the limit

I don't think he ever was going to leave you. He wanted to frighten to make you feel guilty and go 'there there'. You didn't, and you didn't back down, so without realising it you called his bluff.

It is a sign that he's upping his game though - does he always want to be in control? And do you have a nasty habit of thwarting him? .

Because if that's the case, I might have put a grin, but it's really not a laughing matter.

He wasn’t ever going to leave or he would have done so, he was playing games.