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Original poster

I fear I may have upset my friend...

43 replies

confusedofengland · 18/03/2019 16:36

I was chatting with a good friend earlier about plans for tomorrow & she said that she wouldn't be doing a planned activity now as her sister's DC had chicken pox, so she was going to take her 3-year old over so he could catch it Hmm Before I could stop myself, I exclaimed rather emphatically "Don't do that, it's a terrible idea!" She was quite taken aback!

I have heard of lots of cases where chicken pox can affect a child quite badly & explained this to her. Of my own DC, DS2 who had it when he was 5, suffered quite badly & had them in his eye & bottom, and as he has ASC it was thoroughly miserable for him. Tbh, I just can't see why you'd deliberately expose a DC to an illness, you wouldn't with any other. She said she wanted him to have it now before their holiday this summer, and he would surely catch it soon anyway, but my own DS1 was 7 before he had it & I know 1 or 2 adults who have not had it at all, so it's not a given that everybody will get it.

I stand by my views, but I do feel rather guilty that I may have upset her!

OP posts:
CluedoAddict · 18/03/2019 16:41

My Dd ended up in hospital on a drip with a secondary infection. It is so dangerous.

TwistedAnkle · 18/03/2019 16:43

Easily fixed - Apologise and stop pushing your views on to your friends

Skybooks · 18/03/2019 16:43

I've not had it and I wouldn't want to expose my son to it.

You may have upset her but I'd have said the same.

Babyfoal · 18/03/2019 16:45

It is a terrible idea.

windysowindy · 18/03/2019 16:47

Terrible idea

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 18/03/2019 16:48

Well, you are right and it is a terrible idea. She might not like it but it’s true.

CookPassBabtridge · 18/03/2019 16:55

Very popular to rub kids together round here so they get it over with.

MoniqueTonique · 18/03/2019 16:56

Surely its much worse to get it as an adult?

cstaff · 18/03/2019 16:57

It is more common than you think. I know when we were kids I caught it at a party and my brothers and sister got it after. Whilst it was tough for my mam for a few weeks she was relieved that she was done with it and that itwouldnt be back so I can see where your friend is coming from.

Original poster
confusedofengland · 18/03/2019 16:59

Monique I expect you're right, but some adults never get it either. I know offhand of a 43-year old & a 70-year old who have never had it. Or her DS might get it naturally later without forced exposure- all 3 of my DC had it through school/nursery - ages 1.11, 5 & 7.

OP posts:
cstaff · 18/03/2019 17:00

@Monique you are correct - you do get much more Ill as an adult.

ChoccyBiccyTastic · 18/03/2019 17:00

Tbf to your friend, chicken pox as an adult is far more serious than childhood chicken pox. Plus it's dangerous in pregnancy as the neonate disease can be fatal.

We don't vaccinate in the UK, so the likelihood of her DC contracting it at some point is high anyway. It's rife in schools and nurseries.

Unless she's planning to vaccinate and tell her DC to revaccinate as an adult, there's a solid argument for contracting it at the optimal time and developing immunity for life.

Obviously, sometimes the disease becomes serious anyway, but it is for each parent to weigh the risks and make their own decision. It is not for you to foist your views upon others.

BlueMerchant · 18/03/2019 17:01

Bad idea. Once child has chicken pox the virus stays and am pretty sure it can develop into shingles. I had chicken pox as a child and shingles as a pre-teen. Was so bad.

NewGrandad · 18/03/2019 17:03

It is a total fallacy that you can't get chickenpox twice. I got it as a youngster (under 5) and then again when I started high school. Not pleasant.

HalfBloodPrincess · 18/03/2019 17:04

When I had the chicken pox as a child, my mum called the gp out in the night (when they used to do home visits)
He turned up with his two daughters so they’d be exposed.

Saying that, I wouldn’t do this myself.

thedisorganisedmum · 18/03/2019 17:12

I wish people who stop pretending that chickenpox is a mild inconvenience. Many children have it lightly, and "just" have a few horrible days. That would be bad enough for many parents, but others kids end up in hospitals they are so poorly.

Why would anyone willingly inflict that to a child is beyond me.

PigletJohn · 18/03/2019 17:15

I had it as an adult and it was fairly unpleasant, but I went to the doc on first spot day, was prescribed some kind of antiviral and the spots stopped coming.

Drum2018 · 18/03/2019 17:16

You're entitled to your opinion on it. I wouldn't feel guilty, nor would I apologise. There's no guarantee her child will get it before the holiday anyway. A few of Ds class mates had it but a lot of them didn't get it at that time.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 18/03/2019 17:24

Chicken pox & shingles are not the same thing at all. That's a myth.

ddl1 · 18/03/2019 17:30

They're not the same; but it is true that older people can get shingles from the dormant chicken-pox virus being reactivated.

Weightsandmeasures · 18/03/2019 17:30

I got it as an adult in the UK as where I come from it is not prevalent. None of my siblings had it as kids either.

So far my brother and I have had it as adults and it was the most horrible experience for both of us. I can remember literally wanting to die (and wake up at a future date).

Everything has a risk. Whether you get it as a child or adult but it is well known and said by the medical community that getting chicken pox as an adult is far riskier and much more painful.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 18/03/2019 17:31

At one time women would throw their kids at anyone with spots because it was usually better to catch these diseases early in life than later - and in those days you were pretty sure to catch things at one time or another.

Nowadays, thank to vaccinations fewer people get them anyway - and it's better to avoid them if you can. Some "childhood" diseases are horrible and can leave children dead, blind etc - even dead!

And the fewer children there are who are infected and infectious, the safer vulnerable people will be - the ones who can't be vaccinated, whose immune systems are compromised eg through chemotherapy etc.

Your friend has very out-dated ideas, and they are dangerous.

endofthelinefinally · 18/03/2019 17:31

Shingles is caused by the chicken pox virus which lies dormant in the spinal cord of a person who has had chicken pox.
It is possible to catch chicken pox from someone who has active shingles.
It is not possible to catch shingles from anywhere,

ddl1 · 18/03/2019 17:32

You might have upset her, but I think you were right: it's rarely a good idea to expose a child to any illness unnecessarily. They get enough illnesses as it is, just as part of everyday life.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 18/03/2019 17:32

*deaf, blind (etc), not dead, blind (etc)