How can I help DS with anxiety ?

[Hughes12345]

He’s 10. Always been a child that worries about things,over thinks,needs reassurance. He’s gained so much confidence in so many ways over the years but the anxiety still crops up and I’d like to help him learn some coping techniques. How though? Counselling? On line resources? I don’t know where to start.

There are lots of approaches. Go to your library or on Amazon and choose some books written esp for children (eg https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-When-Worry-Much-What/dp/1591473144/ref=ascdff_1591473144/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310977284312&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3348871883606561200&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006867&hvtargid=pla-436084988065&psc=1&th=1&psc=1 and some books aimed at adults supporting children with anxiety.
Look at the websites for specialist organisations: eg Young Minds are really helpful to parents youngminds.org.uk/find-help/conditions/anxiety
(My DS had separation anxiety which required CAMHS intervention. Their approach, in a nutshell, was to explain what was happening in his body and brain. To teach coping strategies - relaxation techniques/ breathing techniques/ distraction techniques/ physical activities...Then to help him face his anxiety with support. Over time the brain and body 'relearn'. )
We did try some hypnosis which was interesting and enjoyable- but crucially did not teach him how to calm himself. You need to give them the skills and mindset to cope themselves eventually.
There are loads of options. These are just some ideas. It's an ongoing process and will prob remain to some extent in their personality for life.... but you can DEFINITELY help to make things better. Best wishes to you both

Thankyou so much,I’ve got a starting point now. The way he is at the moment I think doing things at home would help. He gets anxious about things that are entirely appropriate to be anxious about eg.assesment week in school but he feels sick with it,gets upset and is like to help him learn some coping techniques.

I’ve found a guided meditation for children on YouTube. I thought I’d try him with that after school today as a way to unwind.

I’d like him to find something that he can fall back on through secondary school.

Also, when he has managed to get through an anxious situation and no harm has come to him, reflect back on it so he can see that things were not as bad as he anticipated, there was no need to be anxious , and he coped. Maybe he did better than just coped and was successful. Don't dismiss his anxiety as trivial though. It is very real to him.

He needs to learn not to catastrophise - or at least to recognise when he is catastrophising - and to learn that he IS capable and worst case scenarios generally don't happen. Even if they do, he can manage.

It's a constant process not a one off, building his knowledge and understanding of anxiety and his resilience.

Thankyou for the advice Aunt. I’ve been doing some reading and it’s reassured me to see that we’re doing most of the good stuff already.

I’m going to teach him some breathing techniques and meditation.