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Do you describe yourself as a sarcastic person? I have some questions for you.

16 replies

PerdHapley · 17/03/2019 19:49

I’ve noticed more and more people online making a point of describing themselves as sarcastic.

While I know that sarcasm can be used positively (in political comedy etc.), in our day-to-day lives sarcasm for the most part relies on putting someone else down, resulting in them feeling small and humiliated, even if it is amusing to others in the room.

I will never understand why anyone would list this as a positive character trait. You’re saying that you’re mean, like that’s a desirable thing? We’re all sarcastic on occasion, but why on earth would you choose to make this a defining feature of your personality?

I'll be honest, I think the kind of people who are very keen to shout about their sarcasm (possibly because they’re confusing it with wit) are very seldom actually amusing company. Truly funny people make people around them feel good, they don’t make them complicit in the humiliation of someone else, or feel that they’re constantly walking on eggshells in case a barbed comment is coming their way. Don’t you realise this when you’re interacting with others, or are you only focused on getting the laughs at all costs?

In most cases I also find that when people proudly declare that they’re sarcastic, the word is actually just a synonym for being a really bloody negative, miserable moaner. The kind of colleague who thinks that every tiny directive from a line-manager is pointless bullshit, who thinks that every little bit of an acquaintance’s good news is lame or smug, who roll their eyes at small gestures others make towards kindness or niceness, who thinks that Mother’s Day and Christmas are commercial shite. Isn’t this joyless for you? Being unimpressed and snippy about everything as a point of principle can’t be great for your own mental wellbeing, surely?

(Posting this in the full knowledge that there will be replies that are pointedly sarcastic. Just going to let those ones twist in the wind, tbh.)

OP posts:
KindergartenKop · 17/03/2019 22:09

Sarcasm doesn't have to mean putting someone down. It can be a wry perspective on events.

Being funny doesn't always have to mean being nice. Being funny is often about recognising negative feelings towards things and acknowledging that we all sometimes feel that way. Being funny can also be positive, it varies!

ifyoulikepinacolada · 17/03/2019 23:04

Is this about someone who has upset you specifically, OP?

I’m pretty sarcastic but it’s never directed at a specific person - always about a situation instead. It’s one aspect of my sense of humour which is generally very dry. I also work in a role where I regularly receive public feedback about my personality and the word that comes up most consistently is ‘kind’.

I’m sorry that you have been hurt. And I would never use someone else’s emotions as collateral damage just to get a laugh. But the world is a pretty dark place and a sense of humour is the thing that gets me and a lot of other people through it.

Yes, I might make a quip taking the mick out of someone I knew well - if I were confident they would also enjoy the joke. If I were to get it wrong I would apologise immediately and genuinely. I would never, in a totally unprovoked attack, accuse a group of strangers on the internet of being ‘really bloody negative, miserable moaners’ simply because they have a different sense of humour to me - I think that’s just, well... mean.

BackforGood · 17/03/2019 23:23

My thoughts on this are practically identical to ifyoulikepinacolada 's

Totally diagree that sarcasm = putting people down.
I almost always dilike "pranks" or playing tricks on people, because they do rely on making someone either look silly, or to be 'the victim', but I can be sarcastic without it putting anyone down. It is a form of humour and a way some people deal with life.

Smellbellina · 17/03/2019 23:35

I am naturally horribly sarcastic, often it can be funny and people take it in good jest but too often I have gone too far and over stepped the mark.
The worst thing is when I be sarcastic to my kids when they’ve pissed me off.
So I agree with you, sarcasm isn’t a positive character trait, being witty is but wit is not the same it is much harder to be witty and requires a lot of intelligence.
Stupid people can’t tell the difference though.

Nnnnnineteen · 17/03/2019 23:36

Similar to pp. I'm v sarcastic, but there is a time and a place. People think of me more as funny than sarcastic, because I don't aim it at anyone. (Unless I'm with my closest friends....) Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, after all!!

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 18/03/2019 00:00

Sarcasm CAN be very funny, but can also be as the OP suggests.

No one's going to say this given what the OP is saying, but for me their post didn't sit entirely right either. And for me it was this:
...who thinks that Mother’s Day and Christmas are commercial shite. Isn’t this joyless for you?

Ok, well I LOVE christmas, but I hate mother's day. I DO think that's commercial shite. Along with Valentine's Day, btw. I hate the fact that flowers are more expensive to buy at that time. I hate the fact that people have to be told to appreciate their mothers instead of... um.... actually appreciating them.

I don't think I'm especially sarcastic (although I am very acerbic and I swear a lot, so I'm wondering if that counts?)

But you lost me there, I'm afraid.

SurgeHopper · 18/03/2019 00:36

I think this postis actually about me Shock I said I was sarcastic on another thread.

I do try hard not to be sarcastic towards people as I know it's so unappealing and rude but I can be sarcastic about other things.

Bear in mind it's a very British thing too.

BitOfFun · 18/03/2019 01:24

Is anybody else thinking about the man afflicted with a sarcastic tone of voice?

Tavannach · 18/03/2019 01:41

The lowest form of wit and the highest form of ignorance.

IncrediblySadToo · 18/03/2019 01:50

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence,” wrote that connoisseur of wit, Oscar Wilde

AllCaughtUp · 18/03/2019 02:19

I have been described as sarcastic with a dry sense of humour.
I’m not a particularly funny person though.

I will take he piss out of people (friends/family who I know will take it in jest) but equally take the piss out of myself.
I love Christmas/valentines/mother’s day etc.

I’m pretty boring and reserved mainly. I probably wouldn’t add sarcasm as a defining feature in my Instagram bio.

ProfessorofPerspective · 18/03/2019 08:38

Apparently it comes from Greek, meaning 'to tear flesh.'

Giggorata · 18/03/2019 09:19

I was taught at school that comments with a wry perspective on events are ironic, not sarcastic.
Sarcasm is intended to wound.

Connieston · 18/03/2019 09:21

I know what you mean. It's like me people who say they speak their mind/don't tolerate fools/don't "do" sympathy... Basically they're telling you they are a c* Grin

NottonightJosepheen · 18/03/2019 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NottonightJosepheen · 18/03/2019 09:34

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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