Non-dinner eating 5 year old

[Pastapastaandmorepasta]

Managing dinner battles with my youngest over dinner. He often doesn't eat much.

I generally will say you can leave the rest if you want but you don't get anything else. (There's usually yoghurt, fruit, sometimes cake or something nice after.)

This quite often results in him trying to finish his dinner but looking like he's struggling and forcing the food down, not ideal. Or he doesn't finish it but has a cry/shout as eldest gets pudding. So no fun for either of them. Then he needs supper at bedtime as he is hungry.

I will usually give bread and butter and milk for supper, I'm aiming for something not exciting (although both DC enjoy bread and butter). Not a big deal but I'd rather he eats more of his dinner.

Will he just eventually change his habits. Or can i handle this better.

What times are all the other meals, are there any snacks, is it the same on schooldays and weekends, what time is bed time? Are you actually cooking things he likes?

What size of portions are you serving and can he help himself at dinner?

Well I wouldn’t want him forcing down food, maybe the portions you give are just too big for his size tummy? Some dc like some adults also prefer to eat little and often rather than a huge meal

I also don’t like the no dessert thing tbh, I’ve never understood the whole if you don’t force yourself to eat all you dinner no dessert. I’m an adult and sometimes I don’t finish my dinner yet half and hour later I still have a small portion of my dessert

I’d give him smaller portions of dinner, dessert and supper if he wanted it

I hear this a lot, "Eat your dinner or you don't get pudding". So the dc sits there and cries, doesn't want to eat the dinner and cries more when he doesn't get the pudding. A thoroughly miserable experience for everyone! OR he forces himself to eat and ends up overeating and getting fat.

I make a game of it and feed dgs6. He thinks it's funny to pretend he's a baby. We get giggles and a clean slate. But if he really doesn't want it, I don't force the issue.

Mostly I served food my children liked e.g. fish fingers, potato waffles. But a few fibs like runner beans help you to run faster also helped. And no fizzy drinks with food.

It depends if he is genuinely full or is just bored of eating. DD(5) basically finds sitting downto a meal an inconvenience, generally dicks about then says she is full. Which is nonsense because she then is hungry 10 mins later. Essentially she would rather snack on nonsense than dog down to a meal.

I agree with you, no pudding until you have finished your dinner, as long as the portion is reasonable. I usually keep what's left of dinner to be reheated when "I'm hungry" happens.

Sit down to a meal obviously. Bloody auto correct!

I am thinking through the weeks menu to make sure I include his favourites. Its a good point. Its a very limited range though so does mean cooking different things for DC1.

I really didn't intend him to force himself to eat. My eldest will sometimes choose to leave half his meal if not hungy and skip pudding, and seems unbothered. But it's clearly too tough for my 5 year old.

I don't like the eat it or you don't get your pudding Singlenotsingle it feels that a threat that wasn't the intention.....but left to it he would skip dinner and only have pudding. I will rethink though. (With respect feeding a child pretending they're a baby and fun giggles... I'm guessing you aren't doing every day or with more than one child?)

Portions are already small but I'll make sure it's tasty.

Yep Withering i think there is a bit of that. As soon as the edge is taken of his hunger he's ready to play again.

My youngest daughter never eats a lot at tea time, but she packs away a huge breakfast most mornings. It's how she's always been naturally

And no, Pasta, this is once or twice a week.

I have a very faddy eater who does not eat a lot at meals but does seem to need to eat little and often - also will eat a range of healthy stuff like fruit and veg. In my view, if they are eating a reasonably balanced diet across the entirety of the day I don’t mind too much. I think it’s inportant to have sitting down for a meal as a family and chatting modelled, but little kids won’t sit for that long in my experience.

I really don’t understand the drive to clean your plate. It just means kids don’t learn to gauge when they are full and can lead to food issues/ overeating as pp said. If they sit down, eat something, including a bit of veg, I would not deny pudding, especially fruit or yoghurt. Especially if he is only 5.

Can you push dinner back half an hour so he's properly hungry, give the bread and butter on a side plate along with dinner instead of supper, then just let him have 'pudding' (ie fruit or a low sugar yoghurt) regardless. Save sweet, cakey puddings for weekends.

This is all really helpful thanks. Sometimes you can't see the simple answer when you are "in it". And good reminder to be realistic about expectations of him as he is so young.

Never make pudding conditional on eating a meal. Wrong on all sorts of levels.
We tend not to offer it at all after a meal. But DD has the option of a drink and snack before bedtime, so effectively has her sweet thing then.

If it seems to be more about him eating just enough to feel full and then wanting to play, can you not just save the dinner he doesn’t eat and then present it again when he’s hungry a little later? Is it really so important he eats everything at “dinner time” as opposed to when he’s hungry? Just make the dessert always some nutritious like yoghurt or fruit salad rather than cake or ice cream and it won’t be too much of a problem if he eats more dessert than main.

I’m not very food-motivated, it’s just who I am, and if I do eat I prefer to pick at things. My parents were always pretty accommodating of this and I’m glad for it. It hasn’t stunted me socially, I can still sit and eat a three course dinner if I need to, it’s just rarely what I’d choose.

Don't battle with food.

Get him to dish his own plate up
Tell him to only put on his plate what he thinks he can eat- he can always have more if he wants too once he has finished.
It may take a couple of meals for him to fine tune the amounts he can manage.
Tell him that there isn't anything else until breakfast once dinner, pudding, fruit is done.
I think it's fine to say nothing else if you don't eat what you put on your plate. But let him get down and play rather than watch others eat pudding.

Stop the supper- it isn't necessary.
If he complains of hunger before bed remind him that he had the chance to eat at dinner and that there is nothing else now.

Do all of this in a none aggressive, no confrontational, matter of fact- this is what we are doing way. Do not engage in negativity.