Hello all. I have been extremely worried about my mum and hoping I could get some advice or just to hear from someone with a similar experience.
My Mum is in her early fifties and retired.
I would say I noticed a problem around December 2017. I noticed that she had started repeating herself a lot, asking the same questions over and over. It worried me but I didn't feel like I could do anything about it at the time. I thought it could be depression as she lost her own mum earlier that year.
Since then I feel like her problems have slowly worsened.
She has always been a heavy drinker but was a functioning alcoholic and drank at night and would say she couldn't sleep unless she had been drinking. Now since she no longer works she has started daytime drinking. Cans of beer all the way through the day then vodka. She barely eats. She seems to live on tins of soup and sandwiches. If we ever went out for a family meal she would excitedly chatter about what she was going to order on the way there, then have two bites and declares she's done. Sits in the house and watches crap TV all day. House is a tip. Family and friends try to visit but she will say 'what do you want??' if they ring or come over. She can't hold a conversation, will repeat herself over again, I think I was probably the first person who noticed it and said something, because she's my mum but now everyone in the family has noticed.
Used to drive everywhere in her car, now she never uses it and it sits on the drive until the battery dies. I have asked her why but she doesn't answer. She lives by herself and seems to manage with day to day things.
Her long term memory is not a problem, she can reel off details about her old career and tell my DB about his birth (20 years ago) in great detail, but she has no idea who my partner is and she's met him multiple times before.
I grew up with this woman and it's like she's a different person. Very houseproud and tidy. Immaculate person, always looked after herself. My mum was such a vibrant, warm, beautiful woman and I'm struggling to cope. She's still there, but she as a person is not there. Her personality just isn't there anymore. She can't hold a conversation and has the short term memory of a goldfish. She used to be very sharp.
I have asked her to go the the doctor but she refuses and says there is nothing wrong. When I say she has a poor memory she says 'Do I???' And has obviously forgotten the entire conversation. She will acknowledge she has a drinking problem but won't do anything about it.
I have spoken to the doctor but I was told unless she goes herself they can't do anything. I don't know what to do. I'm terrified it will develop into her forgetting everything. I am at the point were I'm sure there is a serious problem but don't know where to turn. Early onset dementia? Alcoholic brain damage? I am so scared she has something like this. Would the Citizens Advice be able to help, or would this not be a matter they could help with?
I want to look after her and support her and help her but I have no idea what to do. I'm sorry this is so long. I tried to keep it short but once I started writing down my worries I couldn't stop.