Easy self-care and organisation thread

[ibuiltahomeforyou]

I'm struggling with depression and low energy at the moment, and I thought it would be helpful to share some of the things I have been trying in case they help anyone else.

• showering and grooming

I set the alarm on my phone for eight minutes when I'm feeling low, and in that time I have challenge myself to dash into the shower, dry, dress, comb my hair and put on some lipstick. Eight minutes means I can just put the radio on full blast and it's over quickly

• breakfast

I bought some protein shake and just make myself one in the mornings for when I'm too tired to eat. It then stops me snacking on biscuits later 😳😳😳

• lunch

I boil some eggs at the start of the week, buy a bag of salad and some dressing, then those are my lunches for a few days at a time with little effort

• at work

I break my day into 45 minute long chunks, and do my best then have a 10-15 minute break so I don't get overwhelmed

• dinners

I keep things like frozen bags of paella in the freezer so dinner can be done in 10 minutes

I'd love any of your tips!

I am absolutelly loving this thread

I've thought up lots of new strategies to motivate myself.

One thing I've started is writing a To Do Some Of list, not a To Do And You've FAILED If You Don't Do All Of This Shit list, which I think it's fair to say a few of us have subconsciously been making.

And I write a job on every other line, and then I fill the blank lines with rewards - so a list might look like this:

cup of tea (always start with a good thing)
spend 10 minutes researching car insurance
file nails and put fancy hand cream on
collect rubbish from around bin, and put it IN the bin
read a chapter of book
make brief inventory of what's in the frig/freezer/cupboards to use later
file feet, pepermint foot cream on, socks so I don't slide over!
tidy bedroom
yoga
look at previously made food inventory and write a list of meals you can make, and a list of meals you can make if you buy extra ingredients, list extra ingredients ie a shopping list - this sounds like a big job but I do it on a piece of A4 turned landscape, and have columns, actually easier to do as one job, I find
catch up on an episode of something you recorded
back to the car insurance
wash hair/mud mask/facial/try new makeup
hoover/sweep/mop ONE room
massive slice of chocolate cake because I've earned it

Getting a few things done is better than kicking yourself for doing nothing.

tidying when you don't know where to start:
walk into a room
look to your left/right
work you way around the room till you reach the door again
tackle the middle
or
think of the room as a clock face, divide it into 12 "cake slices" from the middle out, and tidy a cake slice at a time

@woodcutbirds I make 'Ta-daaa!' lists too. :) Also, if I do something off-list, I put it on the list and tick it

I've done my own version of the 5 second rule in the past, I've realised - I should start that again. My rule involves 30 seconds though.

This thread is like a meeting of Procrastinators Anonymous. Only no one has started that up in real life because, well, y'know.....

Fromage - I love yourpost and your rewards list - I'm definitely going to start that.
I completely set myself up to fail - by setting myself impossible tasks. In fact since I have been ill (chronic non healing wound which makes me very tired, fed up and sore) I think I've been harder on myself than ever - like I'm constantly telling myself 'pull yourself together, do more do more'

It is so much to do with reversal of thinking and cutting out all the negative self chat and replacing it with encouraging, positive self chat.

Definitely about manageable chunks I find. I get easily overwhelmed by life. We have a ug house and a 6 month old and it feel like there is stuff everywhere. One tip I have found helpful: I keep my most useful cleaning stuff in a box with cloths and sponges. It sits on my washing machine. Getting a spray and cleaning say a bathroom feels easier when its.right there rather than in the cupboard under the sink amongst the WD40 etc etc..also a bottle of bleach next to each toilet.
When I write a to do list I always include things ive already down soni can start positively. I also categorise - must do, would be nice to do. I limit the must do to 2 things. They way if I get those done I feel good. If I get any of the others done I feel even better.

And I write a job on every other line, and then I fill the blank lines with rewards - so a list might look like this:
I was reading this as making a cup of tea was one of your tasks, not as a reward. I thought that sounded like a really good idea because I'd be ticking something off and having a cuppa (which is supposed to solve everything but doesn't). To be honest I think I might include it as a task in future anyway.

They're tasks if you think of them as self care.

I tick off the fun stuff too. I've just written 'eat ice cream' on a list because it's been in the freezer forever and it's a small amount in a big tub, taking up space. When I have completed this onerous chore, I will tick it off too.

@Fromage I absolutely love your list idea!

I've been trying a timer in the morning again - I put 10 minutes on my phone clock then have to be showered and dressed by the time it is done!

I even did it last night for getting ready for bed.

I do what I like to call 'dirty cleaning'; I wipe the shower screens down with the remainder of the lather from my shower puff (only works for high-detergent shower gels mind, please don't try doing this with Oilatum!) and clean the bathroom mirrors when the mirrors are still steamed up from the shower. A rough and ready wipe down is way better than no cleaning at all.

I love this thread - I had a really big breakdown when DS was about four months old that lasted a good year, complete with suicidal ideation etc. I climbed out of it and have had a much better few months - certainly last year for the last six months I was feeling almost back to normal and was so positive coming in to 2019... then mid feb my cousin committed suicide and end of feb my dad died, March was terrible where I tried to carry on as normal and made myself physically ill as a result. Funeral on 25th March. Now I’m really struggling.

I’ve got systems and routines in place to make sure that I’m meal planning and cleaning the house and work etc but the one area I really give up on is self care. Deep down I think I don’t deserve any and it’s always the first thing that I let slide. It doesn’t help that I’m flat broke either.

I did have a timetable before, so Monday would be eyebrows and moustache day, Tuesday was hands and nails, Wednesday was exfoliate, Thursday was shave legs, but I don’t bother any more.

Sorry hit post too soon... I binge even though I make healthy dinners for us all and my weight makes me miserable. I walk around in my decade old glasses, unbrushed hair, no make up, shitty clothes and it justcompounds how bad I feel, but I don’t have the energy to do anything about it.

I've developed a new system. Put clothes in the laundry basket when I take them off so I don't just put them on again next morning. I'm far too likely to get up at the very last minute and put on yesterday's clothes including underwear. If they are already in the laundry basket, that shouldn't happen.

@TwllBach I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time

I know exactly what you mean about self care falling short. It sounds like you've been someone who has cared for herself in the past so I hope you're able to rediscover that for yourself.

I have just finished a course of CBT which ended in finding new beliefs for yourself to replace the negative ones. My new belief is 'I matter', so when I find it tough to self-care, I think 'what would someone who mattered do?'

That really helps me to put myself in the mindset of being kinder to myself.

My house is looking super messy today so I've set my timer for three minutes per room and just legged it round tidying while my DD2 watches Peppa Pig!

I like this, have mental health (depression also) it's hard not to feel guilty and overwhelmed at times.

I've started a very simple things of a task every week day, like recycling the Wednesday as when it goes out, another day the Online shop, and another a simple clean up day (we just have a flat) oh, and one day change the bed linen. So doing this one task makes you feel you've done something - and then a self care thing also. each day. All vague and if not done it doesn't really matter.

Self care can be swimming and also I've started going for a weekly aromatherapy massage very cheaply with local college students in a block of five so that is my Tuesday thing at the moment.

I think routine can help with mental health

I like CBT also. I try and think how much it means to do these things and if I wasn't here how would others cope. as it can feel invisible sometimes. I also like filling the freezer idea and have discovered Iceland for frozen veggies, fish etc to cook with as well as occasional cooking sprees when feeling up to it. for times when not.

@Home77 a massage would be lovely, I must look on the website of my local college!

I am going to try swimming tomorrow if I get time, haven't been for ages!!

Ooh I’ve loved reading this thread, so many good ideas.

I’m quite a procrastinator and the thing that helps me most is forcing myself to do 5 minutes of something that’s hanging over me. For example, the utility room was an absolute midden and I just couldn’t face doing it as I didn’t know where to start. I set a 5 minute timer and started in the doorway. By the end of the 5 minutes I’d got into it and ended up doing a good hour in there and nearly finishing it. It’s the fear of starting that’s the hardest part, but everyone can manage 5 minutes, and then you’ve started. I finished it off the next day and so far I’ve managed to stay on top of it. I hate making phone calls so I’ve used the same method with that too. I set the timer, find the phone number, any info / paperwork i need, pen, paper, think about what I’ll say at the start of the phonecall and jot down any points I think I’ll forget. Most of the time after this I’m ready to make the phone call. If I’m not I walk away, have a cuppa, and set an alarm for when I’m going to do it.

I’m another one who has benefitted massively from ditching the perfectionism. Cleaning etc would seem so overwhelming as each job would take so lon as it had to be done fully. For example, I’d notice a window would need cleaned and think I had to do all of them and it would take a huge chunk of time. I’d put it off, feel guilty about it, then eventually spend ages getting them all done at the expense of other housework that also ‘needed’ done perfectly and was also weighing on my mind. Now, I spot DD’s grubby finger prints, get out the spray and spend 30 seconds sorting it out. I keep a set of cleaning products and cloths upstairs as well as down so they are to hand and it’s not a hassle to do a little job.

I still need to work on the self care stuff. Really like the idea of a box of lotions etc in the living room and a daily beauty task eyebrows first on the list

OP you got this thread going and it's providing a lot of good ideas for people - thanks you rock!

Great idea @KTCluck!

And thank you @Lisette1940, lovely to hear it's helping you!

I did some lovely bits of self-care today - I bought some flowers from the garden centre, potted them and put them near the house so I can see a splash of colour when I look into the garden. It will help to herald in the spring!

ibuiltahomeforyou I went swimming for the first time in forever today. Determined to carve out self care fitness time for myself.

Twllbach, sorry to hear thibgs are so horrible at the moment. Just remember that anyone would find these difficult and anyone who has MH difficulties will find it harder. Be kind to yourself.

Woodcutbirds I was going to come on and say ta dah list! I have recently had a lot of CBT for PTSD and anxiety and depression. Noting things I do makes me feel really good about myself.

I have also let go of the perfectionist but it has taken a lot of work to do so. The post about tidying the bathroom shelf sounds exactly what I used to be like. Now I like the idea of someone else's phrase of "done is better than perfect".

When things where really bad I had days on end in bed and the house was really bad. I would limit my to do list to three thibgs and break them into chunks thinking all the time of what was "good enough". So clean the kitchen became less of sorting out every cupboard and spending all day doing so, became fill the dishwasher, put away food and rubbish, wipe couters brush floor. I could do this using the 15 minutes timer. I also started listening to podcasts through alex a (she's the slovenly woman's best friend now!) Which often meant I could do more than the 15minutes.

Re: self care.....my new mantra is "I'm just as good as everyone else" so whereas old me wouldn't do self care stuff like make up and putting on nice clothes because "meh what's the point?" Now I schedule it in on my to do list.

I've had to take note of when I stop showering regularly as that is my go to sign that I'm not coping with life

Brilliant thread. Will check back later

Also, a good tip for a blitz is have wee carry thing for sprays and cloths. A big tub for recycling, a wash up bowl for plates, bin bag for rubbish and laundry basket for....well, laundry.

Go into the bomb site., first chuck in any dishes and plates to the washing up bowl and take to kitchen, fill with hotnsoapy water and leave

Go back, lift any rubbish and recycling. Stick laundry in the basket. I sometimes take another laundry basket for atuff that belongs in other rooms but often this gets left full of crap somewhere as I run out of steam. Room shoukd be relatively tidy now, wipe round and Hoover later.

It helps with my bedroom and then it's nice to go into at night.

I watched a video to help me
It was "clean my space " on YouTube, one specifically aboutbbedrooms.

Thanks for this thread. I have 12 of my close family arriving tomorrow to stay and my house is a tip. This thread has given me the motivation to get it done and the remainder that it doesn't have to be perfect.

I liked that video Sunnysidegold - I'm going to watch all of them.
Really sorry to hear of others tough times at the moment, I'm struggling a bit too - so to all of you. Thank you for tips and empathy.
I've started using my notebooks for very short lists. Iput down about two things - so I don't set myself up to fail (and they can be very small tasks likeput the bin out, or put a wash load on) today I'm aiming for washing up and cleaning kitchen but I am going to takle it in 15 minute blocks and do some knitting or reading in the breaks between. And if i don;t get it all done thats OK. A bit like 'done is better than perfect' I'm going for 'a little bit is better than none' - so anything I manage, even if it's just a few mugs and plates, i'm going to look on as a success.