The country is being handed over to you for 24hrs....

[MaidenMotherCrone]

What would you do? This is a brexit free lighthearted thread about changing the little things, the things that really get on your nerves on a daily basis.

I'll start.....

Whistling in public is banned and offenders will have the little hairs on the back of their neck pulled quite hard.

People who make whining noises whilst wearing ear/headphones will be given a dead arm.

Mouth breathers/noisy eaters will be slapped around the head.

12hr shifts will be banned.

Brown nosing colleagues will be sent to Coventry.

It's been a long, long day and I passed the end of my tether hours ago.

Ban chewing gum in public areas.

I have at least 2 obsessions:

1. There needs to be a micropayments system for paying for articles behind firewalls, from like of Economist or The New York Times. So I can pay 20-40p per article or some such rate. Get that system set up & running, suppose would use a Google-administered system for the article providers. As a customer, I would front pay on the account, start with £10 & run balance down like a true PAYG (prepay) phone.

2. There needs to be a way to electronically sign forms that is validated so can be fully official, maybe a pin-code system, where you have an encrypted image of your signature that is verified and only revealed with the password (PIN), and can be inserted in MSWord docs or PDFs (legal dox).

Sorting those 2 things out would make me satisfied.

Oh... and my workplace needs to let us stream music using the work machines rather than us all doing it over the wifi. Honestly. If we're gonna skive we'll find a way, so just let us have a little perk of not needing to stream thru phones & iPods & have extra cables & cords & charges on the physical desk.

Sorry, I seem to have killed your thread

x-post!

Oh and bottled water will be banned!

Block access to phones whilst on public transport, I want to see where people stare / what they do without a screen to merge into

Using disabled toilets/changing rooms as storage will be banned.
The phrase “we don’t really get wheelchair users here” as an excuse for the above will be banned with fines for those who use it.
A compulsory GCSE in Polite Small Talk covering acceptable comments/questions and how/when/where to use them will be implemented. The questions “so what’s wrong with you?” and “why do you use a wheelchair?” will mean an immediate fail.

Start a country wide roll out of solar panels.
Whistling in public will be a capital offence.
Anyone found spitting in public or littering will be pilloried.
People not picking up their dogs poo will be forced to repeatedly smell it.

There's probably a good reason I'm not in politics. I'd end up in a history textbook under the heading "Insane unstable dictator".
I do hate whistling though. It's a horrible noise that no-one wants to hear. Especially if there's other background music.

Shouty, shrill people (women) will be fined. My brain implodes when I get shrieked at.

I live in a country where EVERYONE shouts.

Oven mitts must be worn when travelling on public transport (fed up sharing my commute with nose-/ear-/arse-pickers)

I would increase the punishment for not cleaning up your dog's mess.

I would also introduce face masks like they have in Asian countries. I am sick of being sick because idiots on the bus don't know how to blow their nose into a tissue, or cover their mouths when they cough.

I would bring in those slow/fast lanes for footpaths.

I would make it illegal for cold callers and canvassers to knock on doors of private homes.

I’d ban chuggers and the daily mail