PND/anxiety?, help

[sadsurreymum]

DD is four months next week, completely smitten with her but can’t stop worrying. Terrified of SIDS and can’t stop imagining her getting hurt-today was out in high winds with her in pram and I couldn’t stop imagining tree branches or pots flying and hitting her, permanently injuring or disabling her or worse. She’s been sleeping through and I find myself getting up several times to check that she’s breathing and can’t go back to sleep and read about SIDS online. I feel OH is growing weary of me, just today I burst into tears for not much reason at all. He is handsome and kind and my anxiety has made me so anxious and judgmental of him and his parenting, but I don’t know how to control it. When we go out with the baby, women always coo over them. I’m starting to feel they would be better off without me, OH can find a better partner and DD can find a better mum. I would never ever hurt DD but think about running off so she and OH can have a better life.

I don’t know what to do, have tried to talk to GP but she tells me all FTMs worry. feel frightened by these thoughts and what’s happening to me.

I had the worry. Uncontrollable thoughts that I once told DP who was horrified and said "why would you even say that!..."

I think you need to go back to GP, ask for a different one, and specifically ask about PND. Worry is normal but thinking you want to run away is not a normal level and not something to just suffer and get on with.

Anyone in real life you can talk to?

You will get through this and you are a brilliant mum.

Firstly, step away from Google!!

Secondly, go back to a different GP. A new mum should NEVER be dismissed when raising mental health issues. I'm actually appalled he sent you away. Most FTMs do worry, but you are worrying to the point you felt it necessary to seek medical advise so they should have helped you!!

Is there an IAPT service you can self refer to in your area? I did recently after suffering from PND and anxiety after my third baby. I got fastracked as I'm post natal and currently undergoing CBT for the anxiety which is helping immensely.

There are a lot of PND and anxiety flags and your GP is mad to have missed them imo.

I would head back to (a different) GP or your health visitor and actually just let them read your post. The things you feel aren't average mum worries but equally they aren't concerning in terms of your daughter's wellbeing. There should be some support services available to you.

My PND and anxiety presented quite differently but eventually with support (& medication) I felt so much better. My DD is over a year now and I enjoy being her mum so much when at one point that felt impossible.

Things will get better but you'll need to seek more help I think.

Thank you for the support, really helps to know I’m not alone in having this. What is IAPT?

Psychological Therapies x

I suffered PND & anxiety after the birth of my third baby. The worries began after her birth, it was all a bit stressful and traumatic and started from there. Worry about everything and a constant feeling of her and my other children would be better off. Couldn't sleep, sit still was in a permanent state of stress and unable to ever stop. It nearly destroyed my marriage too. I knew I wasn't well but carried on, until I broke down. After finally plucking up the courage to call the GP's and explain to the receptionist briefly how I felt she got the GP to call immediately. He insisted if I couldn't come to the surgery he would come round. He was fantastic and the relief of being listened to was great. I had sertraline and CBT which worked but I know some people don't find it helps. Please see another GP, they should never of dismissed you and don't suffer. It does get better, she is 20 months now and everything is brighter, family and marriage. Hope you get there OP.