Am I right or the worst parent ever to say no to Instagram?

[EleanorLavish]

My nearly 12yo keeps asking me if he can have Instagram. I keep saying no, but apparently I am the worst mum ever/ruining his life/everyone has it etc etc.
My very good friend has a son a few years older and he got Instagram last year. She said it is the worst thing she ever did, he is never off it, it causes loads of rows. Now her son and mine are identikit souls. So alike in every way. She has told me I'll regret it.
My DSis is a VP and has told me not to get it.
His school sent out a letter recently, a case of people pretending to be someone else and spreading rumours etc about someone in school. All dealt with but they said please be careful of social media etc and avoid if possible.
I don't 'get' Instagram, and a techno dinosaur and haven't a clue! Please help, is it the devil? Will I regret it? What boundaries should I set?
Any advice welcome.

I think you're a very sensible mother and if every other mother had the same there would be a lot less pressure on our kids and a lot less mental health issues. I'm a teacher and I can honestly say that social media is ruining lives. It's so tough on the parents who actually care look like bad guys to our kids.

My only advice is to explain exactly why you're not allowing it, and that some day he will look back and thank you.

My dd's 12+13 have had it since they got phones at secondary school (both nearly 12). They can only follow people they know or celebs /utubers I have approved.
Fb is a def no until far far off so Insta is my compromise.
Ime Fortnite for my ds 10 is much much worse to have in the home!
Pick your battles.

Aren't you supposed to be thirteen to have an Instagram account?

I think it's okay to have Instagram if you are careful. I only allow my DC to communicate with people they actually know it'll, their account is set to private. You can't turn back the tide - a sm world is the world they live in. Give your child the tools to deal with it (denying its existence won't help) and a little freedom, while it's still yours to give. Better to agree and have some control than risk your child going behind your back

Some 8 years olds have it at DS’s school 😲. I won’t let DD (12) have it though. I want to keep her off SM as long as possible.

My dd is 11 and has an Instagram that I moderate. She posts photos of street art and fashion and occasionally someone will leave a nice comment. I think it is the least insidious of all social media platforms as it seems to be mostly "look at their pretty thing I made/ did" or "look at pretty me/ place/ food" some photos can be a bit racy they cover nipples/ genitals but it's all there. My dd has autism and a learning disability and has no interest in looking at other people's posts just making her own so I'm spared this worry. If she was a typical 11 year old I'd probably make her wait a couple of years and then only if I followed her and she followed me so I could monitor the account.

I’ve said no and will keep saying no for the foreseeable. I think this is the right approach for young minds and I think that it will become increasingly accepted as we learn more about the impact this all has on teens and children.

I've just had the same conversation with my 11 year old . It's the wanting to get as many likes from people as possible that worries me

My 13 yr old isn't allowed either. I don't care if she thinks I'm mean, I don't think it is of any value as a forum and following people because they post photos is, as far as I am concerned, a pointless pastime.

Our school recently sent a letter, the gist of it saying they are fed up with dealing with social media fallout and they will no longer deal with it for under 13s. If it is really serious they will, but with the proviso the parent agrees access will be removed.

I would say no until at least 13, if not much older. They are just too young imo.

Thank you for replies.
I have to say I've been looking in to it and it just doesn't sound like his thing at all. He is very much a grubby, non-fashion lad. Not in to bands, music, trends etc.
He said his friend said they should ask if they can get it so they can chat together when playing FIFA?
I think they haven't a clue what it is.

I think he means WhatsApp?