Does your family pull together as one unit?

[RobertSmithdoesmyhair]

We (me, DH and 4 teens) used to be so close when the kids were young. Now, I feel like we are all just lodging in the same house.
We rarely see our teens (all still at school and living at home) and they hardly spend any time together. They don't especially like each other and I wouldn't say they 'have each others backs' if one of them was any trouble.

I have always insisted on eating together, but they don't want to sit at a table with each other. If they do, it usually ends in an argument and I get peed off.

They now cook their own food and would never offer to make something for anyone else. No one ever even makes me a cup of tea. They are just so self centered.
We never laugh or have fun together. They might as well be lodgers, except they aren't paying rent!
Where did it all go so wrong? We are definitely not a tight family unit and I feel.that when they leave home, they will not see each other (or us) at all.. It makes me so sad. It's not what i envisaged family life to be like!

As kids get older eating together is challenging because of scheduling so we deliberately do things as a family like a take away and games night or walking and a pub lunch each week. Mine are adults now (just) and apparently tomorrow it's a pub crawl!

I have adult dc who still eat with us (me +dh +6 dc) at least twice a week despite having moved out!!
Teens know tea time is family time! Phones do pop up at the table at times!! Gentle scowl usually sorts that!
It's catch up time and they do enjoy it too!

We eat together and a couple of evenings a week we get together and watch something on TV, chat etc.

Sounds fairy normal OP. I doubt there’s many families around the world with teens that spend a lot of time together, sit around laughing all the time and eat their dinner every evening sat round the table.

I bet if the chips were down they’d all rally round?

How old are they all? My eldest two are 12 and 13 and get on half the time, argue the other half. They’ll happily do family days out still. They wouldn’t make me or one another a drink, but will do for their younger siblings. They will both let me know if the other is upset, but wouldn’t necessarily do anything about it themselves! Though that may be for the best...
we have certain tv shows we watch together as a family, but other times they happily do their own thing.
They go to different schools and will ring each other for a chat on the way home about once a week. Dd also rings/ texts me daily on the way to and from school. Ds does about once a fortnight when he has something to tell me.
They confide in each other to an extent but confide in me much more!
This may all change as they get older though.

Oh, and it’s rare all 6 of us eat together due to clubs/ activities/ seeing friends etc.

I'd have loved to say yes, but DH and I have been quite poorly the last week, so he buggered off to bed for days leaving me to deal with DS (13 months).

There is just the three of us, so yes, we are quite tight. Ds is back at home post university, and whilst I might not always see him during the day, he does make me tea, and he cooks for us as well.

Ds and I eat together whilst dh prefers to gawk at whichever box set he is working through. I do insist that we all sit down together a couple of nights a week though.