Help me get out of bed..

[hotstepper4]

I have been in bed since Wednesday evening. I dropped my ds at his dad's and came home, looked around. Ds bowl from his breakfast was there, and his favourite blanket with the cat print was on the sofa. My ds loves cats. But he wasn't there.

I realised that I wasn't needed by anyone. I rarely am. I only see my ds 40% of the time, historic from 2013 when I attempted suicide and my emotionally abusive ex husband used that as leverage to take me to court and get residency of the only good thing I've ever done with my life.

Since 2013 my health is failing. I have chronic tinnitus and it's believed I may have interstitial cystitis though that isn't diagnosed yet.

I have no interest in anything when my boy isn't here. I have a dh who is lovely but doesnt really get what makes me tick.

So I went to bed. And I'm still here. I should have gone to work yesterday, and today. I haven't. I havent done anything. My friend says take antidepressants but I'm scared they'll make my tinnitus worse.

I have things downstairs. I have 2 gerbils and a cat. There's things I would like on TV. So why am I still here in this bed? I just wish I could talk to my ds but my ex won't answer my call. I'll see ds on Monday.

For your own sake,your DS's sake and your DH's sake you need to get out of bed and you need to do it now!

Have you contacted work and told them your not well or has your DH contacted them for you?

Speak to your GP,they will know what help will be suitable when it comes to the tinnitus and do not let this be the rest of your life,your DS will grow and when he's old enough he will know the truth and he will get to decide who he spends time with not your ex arsehole.

I know it's really hard when your long term ill and you have an abusive ex husband that you have DC with,that's my life as well(I'm disabled now and seriouslly ill and my health is declining)but you know what I refuse to let my ex have had the best of me.

I've remarried and my DH is lovely and we have 5DC(he helped make our youngest)and 2 of our DC are disabled as well(myself and our youngest are disabled because of the hospitals fuck up whilst I was in labour with her)but I Fucking Refuse To Give Up on life because of my Twathead of an ex!

Reach out and get help,don't give up,you,your DC and your DH deserve more

Thank you for the reply, I appreciate it. I know you are right.

Are you up?

Look after you. Get up and get yourself a shower and dressed.Make a g.p appointment. Do some tidying and sort out your pets. Ring work and tell them you'll be in tomorrow. Cook something nice for yourself and your OH. Make today a fresh start and concentrate on being the best you that you can be. Living well is the best thing you can do for yourself and your ds. He will soon be back with you and looking forward to seeing you.

Where abouts in the country are you?

You need to fight.

You love your son, that is obvious. But you wont get what you want (more time with him) unles syou fight and show the courts youre better. Do you want your son growing up mainly with your abusive ex? I doubt it.

Im in the north west. If you need a friend to talk to, id be happy to meet up.