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Original poster

DD's long term boyfriend has dumped her a week before her 18th

13 replies

NicoAndTheNiners · 15/03/2019 00:00

They've been together nearly 2 years. Obviously she's gutted.

I just don't know what to say to her. Tried telling her she was so young that it was unlikely to have lasted. That we've all been there, etc. Feel so sorry for her. She says her birthday is ruined, prom is ruined.

I'm worried about her messing her A levels up now.

Told her she's got so much to look forward to with uni, etc.

And I just paid £500 for Eurostar tickets and a hotel package for them to celebrate a levels finishing in July. Literally paid 12 days ago and it's non refundable. Not even allowed to change names on the ticket!

OP posts:
MegaClutterSlut · 15/03/2019 07:32

All you can do is be there for her like you're doing. No matter what you say to her at this point it probably won't sink in yet as it's too raw for her but in time she will know her mum is right Smile what a git though

Fazackerley · 15/03/2019 07:34

Nightmare. I feel for you. All you can do is listen. Has she got a best mate she can take to Paris?

Fazackerley · 15/03/2019 07:34

Oh no I've just seen you can't change the names on the tickets! That's awful 😥

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Glitteryfrog · 15/03/2019 07:42

Would one of her friends be able to buy another Eurostar ticket? (Write his off)
Then they can use the hotel booking?

sar302 · 15/03/2019 08:10

What a dickhead!

But honestly, don't go for the "you're young, it was never going to last" angle. You're absolutely correct! But I remember my mum saying this to me as a teenager, and it felt so patronising and uncaring.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 15/03/2019 09:30

That's shitty thing for him to do, timing-wise. However hopefully there is enough time before A levels for her to get over it, although she may not feel like it at the moment. Is there no way names can be changed on the ticket by paying an admin fee, even a hefty one?

Original poster
NicoAndTheNiners · 15/03/2019 09:53

But honestly, don't go for the "you're young, it was never going to last" angle. You're absolutely correct! But I remember my mum saying this to me as a teenager, and it felt so patronising and uncaring.

You're right and I was saying it I was thinking it was the wrong thing to say and kind of glossed over it and moved on. I just felt that everything I was saying was wrong.

She seems better this morning but thinks she's going to convince him to change his mind. Apparantly he said he still loves her but feels depressed. So she's decided she can help him by being more supportive.

I said she needs to be careful that she doesn't pressure him into something he isn't sure about and then gets dumped again in a months time.

There's no way of changing the name on the ticket. Not even by paying an admin fee. So new ticket, or she goes on her own or nobody goes. It's a bloody swizz when it's 4 months away and they can't change the name!

OP posts:
HazelBite · 15/03/2019 09:53

This happened to me just before my A levels do not say you are young you will get over it/meet someone else!
The best thing you can do is be loving, supportive, sympathetic and encourage her with her studies and exams, and remind her what an exciting future awaits her, if she gets good results.
The reality, as we all know, is that she will get over it in time, but right now she needs your sympathy and encouragement.

HazelBite · 15/03/2019 09:56

Just to add at that age he has probably had his head turned by someone else but doesn,t want to look like the bad guy! Hence his explanation of depression.

MrsJayy · 15/03/2019 09:59

Just let her heal and rant no point saying he is a badun or you were young etc it might be a fall out and they might sort it and be back together nexy week Ime of having older Dds never get over invested in relationships boyfriends can come and go, the holiday tickets though I would be livid

Crowdfundingforcake · 15/03/2019 10:07

Careful, too, if he's saying he's depressed, that she doesn't become his crutch. have seen instances of teens where one of the couple is depressed (or says they are), and the dynamics can very quickly become unhealthy. Maybe advise her to give him space rather than offer more support.

MrsJayy · 15/03/2019 10:22

I agree with the above she doesn't need to be his crutch teenage relationships can be quite intense and of course i wouldn't say this to an actual teen but slightly over dramatic

ReggieWoo · 15/03/2019 11:24

Aww teenager relationships are crap when they break up.

DS was gutted when his long term gf dumped him in second term of uni. Took a while to get his sparkle back but they do get there.

I hope she has a good birthday.

I agree with getting a friend to buy a separate Eurostar ticket

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