What do you do if you don't have childcare?

[MishMashMosher]

DH and I both work. Him full time, me part time. We live rurally with very little childcare options. I don't have any family locally. DH has elderly grandparents and a mum who doesn't have much to do with our children. Her choice, the dc don't even know that she is their granny. So my question is, what do you do when you're kids are ill? One of my dc has health issues and does get ill quite a bit. Nothing serious but does need to be off school. He is having an op next week which should help with this. The school rang me last week and asked me to pick my dd up as she had banged her head. I've also had to take time off to attend hospital appointments for ds too. DH and I also take separate holidays every year to try ans cover the school holidays. How do people manage? I feel so streesed out and I'm so worried about my job. I genuinely don't have anyone to look after my dc when they are too ill for school.

I know i'll be asked this.... Dh does try to do his fair share but he sometimes works quite far away and I work a 2 minute walk away from the school so if we get called to collect one of the dc, it's easier for me to go. Also because of the job DH does, he can't just stop in the middle of doing something. It also means that the people he works with are very limited with what they can do without him. Plus he earns a lot more than me.

You don't have to justify yourself OP, until you have children yourself you don't realise how hard it is and no one knows what's around the corner. I know it doesn't suit every one but could you do more evening and / or weekend work? I work in the NHS

It also doesn't help that not all holiday clubs are suitable for working parents, ie those that don't open until 9.

I also think those who have jobs where they can "just work from home" don't get what it's like for those that can't.

I mean I hope to be able to return to at least part time work at some point but between sky high childcare fees, limited options for holidays and illness you wonder whether it's worth the hassle

Same here, I ended up being a SAHM. When they are at school, holiday clubs/childcare also wiped out my p/time wages, so this coupled with the juggling when they're ill made it too much to continue. I now try and do low skilled temp work during term time. It's not a great situation.

I just have to take time off then make it up.

SnuggyBuggy we have exactly this issue - we live abroad where primary school starts at 7:45am and in the rural area where we live the school bus children catch the bus at 07:05am.

On a school day if I have an early shift I have to be at work by 6am so DH leaves later than his preferred 06:15am - he waits til the youngest's bus pulls away at 07:10 absolute latest then goes to work.

Very annoyingly the youngest's after school club cost includes a "free" (but only to those paying the 105€ per month for after school club) holiday club which runs for about 50% of each holiday except the Christmas one.

Lovely, except that the after school club opens at 9am!

That would mean people with an hour's commute (very common in rural areas) not getting to work til 10am.

Only a select group get any use out of the holiday club, and it's almost exclusively people who have family help anyway, because ironically you really can only use it with the 9am start if you have grandparents to take the kids to the club for you! Plus a few people with a sahp who doesn't want their kids home too much...

It's something of a reward those who have the easiest life with more help with an extra bonus subsidised by those who have the least help set up.

For those asking why I didn't think about this before having dc

No need to justify yourself. It's a ridiculous question anyway. Do people really think to themselves, oh, I'd love to have a baby and start a family but I'm not going to because they might be sick occasionally and I might need to take time off work!

I lost my job basically! I managed until my dd had serious mental health issues (she's autistic) and that was that, my contract wasn't renewed. It took time but I found an amazing employer who let me bring them with me, and let be be flexible (I'm pt anyway)

Thanks everyone for being understanding. The wraparound care provided at another school doesn't run in the school holidays. Well it does but in another town 16 miles away. There is a football holiday club but it starts at 9.30 and finishes at 1.30. Plus it's miles away. The other holiday club is tennis which is mornings only.

Because of where we live, that is all that's available. Once my DS has his op, hopefully he shouldn't have many illnesses and there shouldn't be many hospital appointments either.

I will ask my babysitter if she has any friends that could help too.

Do you know any of your neighbours well enough to be comfortable asking if they could help? I used to go round to a lady's house who was recently retired, she used to do activities with me and make me dinner. If I was ill she would often come over and babysit for me. You could give her some money or offer to help out with things like shopping/diy/lifts etc in return perhaps?

If you don't need the wage then I would leave the job in the short term. Does your dh work days or nights? If he's days could you look for something night shift? What area of work are you in.