Does anyone elses dh just does not talk / share stuff

[GeorgiandI]

DH and I have been together for 9 years. He's always been quiet but that's fine but im finding over the years, especially since having kids that it's beginning to really affect me. Its not the being quiet thing more that he just doesn't talk. I ask him a question about eg work. I would just get one sentence answer. Its just so brief and he just doesn't share anything with me. I can go away whole weekend without having said a word.

I couldn't cope with that. It would be like I wasn't a couple or having a proper relationship.

It must be very isolating and lonely. Are you just living in the house separately ? Do you have kids ? If you do what's he like with them ?

I hear you. I ‘m 20 years in and very lonely

My DH can chat away about politics or history, but try and get him to talk about anything difficult and he totally avoids it.

It is very frustrating and I often have to really pin him down to have conversations about wills, medical decisions, children's problems etc.

Fortunately I have no problem sitting on him whilst demanding his cooperation

Yes I do feel very lonely. It doesn't help that he isn't very happy/ jovial either. I find that it affects my mood and feel low. There's no daily banter, joking, sharing stories. I really don't know what to do. He's the same with the kids too. My ds7 loves football which they watch together in pretty much silence. Ds will mention a player or some random football fact etc and he won't even respond.

How was your relationship in the early years?

A friend of mine, who is now divorced, was told in no uncertain terms by her ex that it was her constant nagging, micro-managing, and complaining about every little perceived slight, which turned her ex against her. Basically he didn't speak to her for the last few years of their marriage because at some point during the conversation she would either blame him for something he did or didn't say, did or didn't do, or just dismiss his opinions entirely, particularly when it came to their kids.

It was less hassle for him to just not speak than it was to end up discussing the direction their relationship was going, simply because he made an off hand remark of joke that she took too seriously.

Not saying you're like that but he must have been better in the past, otherwise why did you marry him?

Well that's the thing. Its always been like that but not as bad as the beginning. Maybe it is when you're in a new relationship at the beginning then you move in together etc. He's never been the chatty type of person but for many years now he has been so distant. We went through a very rocky period a few years ago and I brought this up and he made an effort which helped but then things slowly slipped back. Its been an ongoing issue tbh. I don't know how to deal with it. I can't go on like this. It affects my mental health.