social services CIN plan

[edj222]

SS have been called by my ex partner, again. This is the 7th time now. He has never been able to get over our split 7 years ago and wont let me or my new partner get on. The last time he called them they advised him to stop wasting their time. This time they have opened a CIN. Is this enforceable or voluntary? I feel at my wits end, he has very little to do with the children but is happy to throw fuel on the fire and stand back.

I'm not sure what you mean by enforceable? If you choose not to engage then im sure Children's Services will be further concerned and then may consider going to child protection. I would just work with them and hopefully it will just be a short time thing.

This is voluntary but you might find the quickest way to get rid of it is to go along with it while highlighting your ex p's issues.

i found the SW very two faced. Ive had years of mental abuse of him, he bad mouths me to the children and brain washes them. He is a mental health nurse that has bipolar and was sectioned a few years ago. He is very calculating and called SS on the out of hours service, waiting till sunday night, so the police turn up at my house with a SW. I will look down the route of an injunction of some kind. I actually cant take any more of this.

On what grounds have the children been placed on a CIN?

All 3 children said they didnt want to come home and felt safer at dads. He said he was keeping them. 4 days later he dropped them off outside and drove off. I asked the children why they said this and they said they felt pressured by dad to say it and if they didnt he would be angry. This happened 4 weeks ago. Since then he hasnt contacted or seen them. SS said as this came out the children's mouths then they must go on a CIN plan.

What basis has he reported to SS? What has he alleged you have done? A CIN plan is only opened after an initial assessment so you need to find out the findings of this assessment.

my partner took a game controller out my 11 yr olds hand, he said 'il tell daddy you took that' my partner said dont be so silly, tell him what you want. They went to their dads friday, he waited till sunday to call SS out of hours. My ex said he hurt his arm while taking the controller off him.

I suspect they would be concerned that they are being emotionally abused. They felt they had to say they wished to stay with their dad? You say he was sectioned- have you put any protective measures in place for the kids? If one of their parents is mentally unstable and abusive this would be cause for concern.

What are you doing to protect your children? A CIN plan is voluntary however if you aren’t engaging and there are sufficient concerns they could be made subject to a child protection plan which if you fail to engage with could result in the children being taken into care.

Work with ss
Ask for psychologists to work with the dc
Get some support for them to sort out this mess
Clearly the dc are very confused and torn.
Try find a way to use ss to get the truth and reality and help the dc
Maybe a family group conference involving everyone and let dc be seen by family therapists or psychologists

Look at it from the outside...ss don't know the ins and outs and/or they need to investigate further
You have dc saying they don't feel safe with you

Whether it is true or not you all need some help and support

You have a child and or your ex alleging your partner hurt your child.that deserves investigation. So work with ss.

Ive heard off several family members today, he has emailed them the SS plan.

Did your partner hurt your son?

Unfortunately, when things are hostile on both sides, this often happens - children tell the dad that they want to stay there, the mum that they prefer it with her, and both that they only said that to the other because they didn't want to upset them, or some such version. It's child logic, trying to make everyone happy.

Engage with the CIN. Like others have said, if you don't, it could escalate into a Child Protection Plan and they can lead to your children being taken into care, so it's not a path to take lightly. If Social Services come to the opinion that he is constantly reporting things without due cause, they can take action themselves, which is much better than it coming from you... but right now, if the children have said they want to stay with him and one child has said your partner hurt him, it will appear that he has legit grounds to be concerned and report this.

the children are with me. He hasnt seen them for a month, they havent asked to see him, he has sent them couple text messages saying he will see them 'soon'. The children felt stuck in the middle and said they wanted to be with him when they were with him. They havent mentioned him since. He doesnt care for those children, all this is trying to get back at me leaving him. Any normal parent who was concerned or even just loved their child would go and see them. My partner didnt hurt his arm, the child is autistic and very over sensitive to situations. I came in to the room 2 mins after it happened and he was not complaining about his arm but upset about his xbox.