want to move somewhere kids still play outside..Folkestone????

[waterrat]

I know this is unlikely - but I feel sad for my kids that the streets everywhere are deserted and I have to walk them up to the park. I wish we lived somewhere where they could just pop outside and find a friend to play football with.

I really want to move to the south coast - Kent - Folkestone - but am I mad to think kids would play out there? I want to start giving my 7/8 year old a bit of freedom as they grow older but I can't imagine it at the moment...

We live in a cul-du-sac and all the children play out here from about the age of 7. It's lovely.

I lived somewhere where it looked idyllic, cul de sac, nice neighbourhood, kids playing in green outside.

Unfortunately we forget that kids playing unsupervised or without an adult or any person around, can get pretty lord of the flies. I’m sorry to burst your bubble but I don’t think this is an ideal way to let kids learn about social norms. My son played out, I was so chuffed, loads of kids, until slowly but surely it turned out that mean boys and girls were getting the upper hand, dominating things, it just was so sad but then I remembered my days playing out, this happened a lot too. In the end my son refused to play out and I got increasingly worried about the younger ones. Lots of low level bullying that wouldn’t have happened if we’d let them come to our gardens instead, and just kept half an eye so they could come to us with problems. They need input from us adults more than we think.

@waterrat he’s spot on there

All the kids are playing out now. We all keep an eye on them. My youngest is 13 but wish we’d moved earlier.

It isn't as simple as where though. We live in a cul-de-sac and we're surrounded by children the same age as one of my dc but there are none the age of my other one. One's out playing but at the same age there was nobody for the other to play with.

@Bananasinpyjamas11 that obviously sounds horrible - but how can children learn how to get on with each other if they are always supervised by adults?

I think you are right that children need 'half an eye' - I think the norm for (thousands of years !) most of human existence - would be that children under 4 would have been within sight and sound of parents - children a bit older would have wandered a little further - etc etc - but parents would have been able to see and hear vaguely what went on...

Perhaps the less children play out the more there is a bias towards bullying because some kids get pulled out - the nicer kids! IN the days where ALL children on a street would be out all the time it may hve meant there was a bit more push back because all the kids wanted to control the situation.

I can't think that gardens are always the answer- because they just cut us all of from each other.

I do however agree that there is probably a natural need for adults to be nearby and stepping in when things get too bad.

@waterrat - no secondary in hythe but there is/was a girls grammar in Folkestone (about 20 mins away) and a boys grammar also. I honestly loved growing up there - lovely high street which has everything you need, beautiful canal, it's on the beach and you also have the hills to explore. I'd move back in a shot if it were closer to London (or I could afford £10k per year for a season ticket on the high speed link!)

My children don't play out as there are no other children, plus no space.

I used to play out as a children. We lived in a cul-de-sac and you could start on your bike the one side, pedal like mad down and round the turning circle and then see how far you could free wheel up. Now there is no chance as there are cars everywhere, even in the day as it is used for free parking by hospital staff. That is a major issue in a lot of roads.

I really think it’s just luck. Cul de sac, low traffic, other families with children, most children attend local school are factors that will help promote the right circumstances but you could still be unlucky and just not hit on the right street.

Agree with bananas

@HeddaGarbled you are right. It's impossible to make sure you get it. Even a couple of roads over from me kids play out - then on the next road they don't because of the traffic. It's random.

I'm in Folkestone and I love it. It's a fantastic place to bring up a family. I don't know of anyone whose children play out though.

@ShatFic are you from Folkestone or moved there? I'm tempted !

I moved here 5 years ago. There are some rough bits but in general it's a lovely place. It's like a mini Brighton. I have a 7 year old and we are always doing things: meeting up with friends at the beach/coastal park/Brockhill country park. We're 5 minutes from the sea and 5 minutes from the North Downs.

We moved to a new build estate - loads of family houses, loads of families, there are greens and a playground and the kids seem to play out all the time (not mine yet they're too little). Maybe you need to look at new developments?

Bananas that's not my experience at all. We moved from the SE to the Yorkshire Dales four years ago, to a village with a green in the middle. My two DC's have played out every summer - holidays, after school, weekends etc. They're out on their bikes, playing football, taking picnics and whatnot. It's been an idyllic experience for them, and they've made some lovely friendships. I wish we'd moved years ago so that ds1 could've had similar, we were still down South when he was a child, but no-one ever went out to play. Just a different culture.

There is a pretty ok (AFAIK) non-grammar secondary school in Hythe.... Brockhill Park School.
I went to the Folkestone Girls Grammar. Wouldn’t recommend it from my experience there though!
I’m not sure Folkestone is a play outside kinda town. Maybe Hawkinge (used to be a tiny village, now a huge housing development) just outside F’stone with its new build developments might be more suitable.

@jock I’m glad there’s some good parts, it just depends on the kids. If you have a few mean ones it does set everything off, I’d really hoped my area would be lovely too. So disappointed! I guess I’m just trying to say, outside freedom is like school, sometimes you have fine classes, other times you need that teacher! Dynamics of the kids.

@waterrat I’m sorry I feel like a complete pessimist. The area I moved all kids did play out, and it was known as a nice area. New estate. Most people know each other. There was just an underlying bullying. Kids were always within sight. I knew the three bullies, and most other kids just followed their lead rather than challenge them. So it became the norm. It might be cultural but I remember bullies when I played out too as a kid, and my brother did some mad stuff! I guess I’m just saying, don’t move just because of kids playing out - it might not be as idyllic, get a feel for what it’s really like.

DS plays out. We're on a newish development, within walking distance of school. Most people in his class live nearby, no big roads to cross etc. It's a great area for playing out - some woods and a big park nearby. In Scotland though, so perhaps not the right area for you...

Our street in Zone 2 London is fabulous. We do a play street once a month but in between the kids are always up and down the street and in and out of each other’s houses. There’s a park at the top of the road although personally I wouldn’t send my child to a public park with no adult until she is at least 10, regardless of the location. It’s not so much the stranger danger thing but there are lots of poorly supervised off-lead dogs at our park (and probably most parks) and sometimes older kids who have given them quite a hard time when they don’t think I’m there. So when they want to go to the park one of the adults will go with like six or eight kids and just sit on a bench and be there in case of a problem.