How to stay on top of dishes and housework

[Habbs]

I live in a three bedroom house, and I feel like I spend my life doing housework. I'm just never on top of it. As soon as I get the entire house clean it seems the next day it's a mess again. It starts up with just dishes piling up and then just mess seems to appear from nowhere. I do at least one big house clean a week (not dirt as much, just stuff) and I'd say about 3 times a week I do a massive, massive load of washing up because it took over the whole kitchen which will take about an hour. I also do little washes throughout the week. I want to get to a point where I just do small top up cleans but I just never seem to get it to that point. Is there a trick I'm missing? I haven't got on top of the build up of laundry in months. I'm just at my wits end with it.

Do you live alone?

Baby arriving in 18 weeks - I want a good system in place by then or I'll cry

@burritofan I live with my DH, he works 45 hours per week and I only work 15 so I take on the brunt of it. He's good though and does the majority of the cooking and cleans the bathroom/does all the gardening.

Wash dishes and dry and put them away straight away after every meal.

Load of laundry every day. Stick it on in the evening. Let it dry overnight. While the next load is being washed put that load away and do any ironing in it straight away. (even with this method though there will almost always be some laundry to do, purely by virtue of the fact that lights and darks have to be separated. So if you do a dark wash there will inevitably be a few light bits left over. As long as the laundry basket closes it's fine. I can't recommend a laundry basket with a lid highly enough)

If you go from one room to another take something with you that isn't where it belongs and put it away.

All adults and children over 2/3 years old pick up after themselves. This includes plates, cups, clothes, toys, bags, coats, shoes etc.

Hoover the main walkways every day /every other day. I only move furniture to hoover about once a month.

My general idea is don't do it in a minute, do it now

just mess seems to appear from nowhere. I do at least one big house clean a week (not dirt as much, just stuff)
This jumped out at me – it sounds like you have too much stuff and not enough space for it. It's so much easier to stay tidy and get through chores when there's less stuff. E.g. cleaning the bathroom means moving all the products, bin, loo brush, etc out of the room – the fewer things to move the quicker it goes. Stuff piles up because it's a pain to put away when cupboards/shelves/drawers are full.

With your DH doing the cooking does that mean you do all the washing up? Does he cook like my DP, I.e. use every single pan, plate, implement and gadget in existence? In which case the workload is uneven. Can you fit a dishwasher into your kitchen?

Laundry is tricky in the winter because it takes so long to dry. I'd spend a day at the laundrette to get on top of the backlog.

First step, to me, would be do a MASSIVE declutter, house wide. Then write up a list of what must be done each week (like emptying the kitchen & bathroom bins). With a baby on the way don't worry about cleaning skirting boards or whatever. Cut it down to the essentials. Sit down with your DH and divide chores evenly. He might work 45 hours but he gets a weekend and some of that should be for tidying/cleaning, since he must contribute to the mess.

Get a dishwasher. Honestly, if there's only 2 adults (one of whom is out of the house all day) who is making the mess and how is it getting messy? I'm a bit baffled! Sounds like you just need to get a bit more organised - a place for everything and everything in its place kind of thing. Storage baskets/hooks/shelves to put stuff on.

As billywig says wash up straight away. Even if you can't be bothered just get up and do it. It's easier to clean things before the food dries and becomes encrusted on.

Oh yes and just spend a few minutes every evening tidying round, putting things back where they live. Makes a huge difference just doing a little bit everyday rather than allowing it to build up.

Wash up every time you use something - from a cup of tea to a dinner.
That's the only way and it means you never have a massive build-up. Also when cooking wash up as you go along. Once you are finished with a pot or pan wash it, dry it and put it away immediately.

Only washing up 3 times a week is pretty horrible and once you have a new born you will need better kitchen hygiene tbh

Instead of doing massive clean ups 3 times a week, do stuff every day.

Wash up and clean the kitchen every night. Ideally after every meal.
Tidy living room and hallway every night.
Do bathroom once a week, with a tidy and quick wipe daily.
Do one laundry load a day.

Set timer for 15 minutes and choose one room and try to do as much as you can- this is a FlyLady tip and helping me to keep up with cleaning, tidying, declutering.
It doesn't seems like a lot of time, but trust me- you can do a lot and the different is visible. Do it everyday.

Google The Organised Mum Method - this is exactly what you're talking about. One big clean to get you started and then top up cleans of different rooms each day. Just 30 mins a day, plus the basics and you're done.

Get a dishwasher. Me and DH used to fight about washing up all the time but no more arguments now. Honestly, it's such a game changer.

I work 40 hours a week and DH does 50. We have two children 3 and 5. When I worked part time my house was immaculate! Even now it's reasonably tidy. I'll be honest, I'm a bit confused about why you're struggling. DH pulls his weight and has a Tuesday off so he does housework then as well.

I have a 2 bedroom house and generally this is what gets done
Dishes cleaned after every meal
Load of washing done every day or every other day (put on in the morning before work and hung up to dry when we get home)
Living areas vacuumed most evenings
Rest of house vacuumed 1-2 times a week
Kitchen and bathroom get a good scrub couple of times a week and surfaces wiped as and when needed
Kids uniforms ironed on a Sunday.

Kids normal clothes don't get ironed and DH does his own (ie he doesn't iron anything either). I do my ironing when I can be arsed (usually one night a week).

But generally, tidy up as we go along keeps the place going.

Declutter - the less stuff you have, the less time you will spend dealing with it.

Clean as you go - when you start cooking, have a sink full of hot soapy water. Wash up as you go. This is important: don't leave the kitchen when you're cooking. DH gets the pasta on to boil then leaves the room to do something else. Don't do this. Use that time to clean up. Stay in the kitchen the whole time, and do the little filler tasks while you wait for stuff to cook.

Laundry every day.

'Reset' rooms before bed. That means dishwasher running, front room tidy, whatever you need for the next day to hand.

Have you always had this issue OP? Did you grow up in a messy house? If, so, you'll just be in the habit of tidying when it gets too much for you, then it becomes a real chore.
Set yourself a rota of what to do when. E.g., on a Monday, I set aside a coup,e of hours to do a deep clean of the bathroom and kitchen. We do the laundry at the weekend you putting a very hot wash on before we go to bed on Friday, that goes in the drier on Saturday morning when one of us nips down to make a brew early on, and is replaced by another washing load so two loads done already.
My kitchen worktops are quite clutter free. One of us washes up afternoon dinner every evening, and we have a dishwasher too.
Miscellaneous stuff is put where it belongs asap. Wardrobes and cupboards are sorted out annually, usually in the lull between Xmas and New Year 🤣.
I give the shower a quick clean a couple of times a week when I'm in it.
By nature, I'm a hoarder so I have to be very firm with myself, as I also get anxious if my home is messy!
I've posted a picture of my kitchen this morning after a clean up. I think it's tidy 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Soontobe60 your kitchen is beautiful! I love the spotlights

So you’re the messy one?! Just stop looking at it and do it. I loathe mess and there us no excuses for dirty crockery laying around. Use it, wash it, keep it.

I think also it's important to get out of the mindset of "getting the entire house clean". I used to think like this and then despair as it would take hours and then be messy again (because people, you know, actually live here). I have reoriented my thinking with the help of TOMM to do a room a day, and keep on top of a few things daily like the floors, dishes, toilets and a load of washing. Never letting things build up is key. Now my house is never clean top to bottom all at the same time, but each room is cleaned over the course of a week so it's never that messy.

To keep on top of the washing up, just have one plate, bowl, mug, glass and set of cutlery each and have the rest stored away for guests. Strip back cooking equipment as much as you can too.

It means that washing up can't pile up: if you want to eat lunch, the breakfast dishes have to be washed.

I work full time, so does dh. One teenage dd.
If you can't keep on top of things when it's just two of you and no bsbh you are in for s shock tbh.

I worked out that the reason the place gets in a state is that DP hasn't mastered the practice of Cleaning Up As You Go.

When we cook together or I cook, he gets confused by how much cleaner the kitchen is - that's because I'm scooting around, wiping up spills, chucking packets and peelings in bins, putting ingredients back and washing bits up as I go, so all that needs to be done afterwards is wipe over the hob, take the plates back after eating, scrape them off and wash up a couple of things, plus quickly run the sweep over the floor to pick up anything that's hit the floor. He doesn't even notice I'm doing it.

My clothes get dropped in the linen bins as they leave my body. His get left on the floor until it's time to do a washload.

If I see a spillage, I wipe it up there and then. I came in from work today and whilst we were talking, I spotted something on top of the washing machine, so squirted it and wiped it up midsentence.

When I'm in the bathroom, if I see his contact lens packets on the shelf, they go in the bin. The towel on the floor gets picked up, the loo gets a quick wipeover if it looks dusty and I'll swish over the sink as I'm washing my hands. It takes seconds.

Even when it comes to tea, there's a difference. He'll get a fresh mug out of the cupboard and bring it over, I'll take the previous mug back into the kitchen, rinse it and use the same one again.

Leaving cleaning until it's a huge job is just a waste of time and energy - I've left it to him quite a bit whilst I've been working and he wasn't - after a while, my Saturday mornings consisted of ragecleaning because I couldn't even find a mug to have a cuppa, as he'd allowed things to build up.

However, now, he seems to be getting the idea. It's largely immaculate - I will still clean on Saturday morning, but it's more the non standard jobs and lots of sitting down in between bursts of activity, not the day to day keeping on top of things or slogging for hours on muck and clutter. I don't mind doing it - I hate a home that looks grubby and cluttered. And he's less likely to put off dealing with anything because he's seeing how much easier it is to work with a good basic level of organisation.

However, if you can fit one in - get a dishwasher. They make a hell of a difference instantly.

Have a look at The organised mum method , it's a lady on instagram and a website with great schedules to keep on top
Of things . I've found it really works well and I'm not having to do hours of housework per day

You need a cleaner and a dishwasher.

Load the dishwasher with everything you use during the day. Turn on after dinner. Unload in the morning while the kettle boils.

And probably get a new hobby because why are you spending so much time on cleaning?