What to do re DS and birthday presents

[confuddled19]

Name changes for this.

DS has been invited to a birthday party next month. The mother has specifically said no presents. DS's birthday party is the following month and the birthday child will be invited. I'm now feeling a bit torn in what to do.

The kids are too young to really know or appreciate presents. If I say no presents (and I'm really not that fussed) does it seem as though I'm copying and then does everyone feel they need to make a point about presents just because this mum has? On the other hand, if I don't say anything about presents (and assume therefore that people will bring them) does that make me grabby?

Genuinely not sure what to do. If the birthdays were further apart I might not think much of it but they are pretty close so there might be an obvious comparison (or is that all in my head?)

I think it’s all in your head. The norm is to take a present for a child so you are just doing that whereas this other parent has decided against them. She might well find people bring gifts for her son anyway.

If you're anti present then say no presents but if you aren't bothered then send nothing to the party you're invited to and not mention it for your son's and people can choose whether they want to buy one or not.

I'd find it odd sending dd to a party without a gift.

What age are they?

Does the mother actually mean no presents or no toys? I’d put some money or a voucher in a card.
It’s normal to take gifts to a birthday party so you won’t seem grabby.

Isn't that all part of the fun for the birthday boy? Tearing open the parcels and scattering paper around? The present doesn't have to be expensive.

Definitely overthinking it. Say nothing about presents on the invitation and let nature take its course.

Thanks the replies.

She's said no presents full stop. I feel a bit weird not taking anything in case I'm the only one who literally takes her at her word and doesn't take anything!

DS will be 3, the other child 4.

Fiver in a card. Sorted.

Yep. Fiver in card. Problem solved

I have never sent my child to a "no present" party without a present. It just feels wrong somehow, even if it's what the parent has requested. Every time there has been a pile of presents beside the cake so I'm obviously not the only one.

I have never sent my child to a "no present" party without a present. It just feels wrong somehow, even if it's what the parent has requested.
I find this extremely rude. You're making it about you, not the recipient. You're burdening them with clutter they don't need, and creating waste.

Thanks everyone. I'll do as the mum has requested, even if it does feel a bit weird!