WWYD? Gymnastics question

[LloydColeandtheCoconuts]

Hello,
Just after your thoughts on this. My DS (4) started gymnastics at the start of term after going to pre school sessions last summer which he loved. However, he hates gymnastics. I have persevered and told him to keep going until the end of term and then if he wants he can stop then. He seemed ok with this but every Sunday it's the same. He complains about how much he doesn't like it and in the lessons looks forlorn and quite pathetic .
My DP says he should just stop and I'm inclined to agree but i wonder if that sends out the wrong message. Will he learn that if he doesn't like something he can just give up?
Am I overthinking this? 🤷🏿‍♀️
I think I'll tell him he can stop but just wondering what your opinions are.

I'd let him stop, he's consistent in his dislike of it. The difference between the preschool stay and play gymnastics and the recreational school-age classes here is huge.

How awful for him. He's only 4 and life should be a lovely happy time.

Why on earth would you force him to do something he doesn't enjoy and which isn't necessary? That's cruel.

It's not about learning not to give up on things at that age. He might be a bit young for structured activities, some children at that age are ready and some aren't.

Find ao

Yes, let him stop and find another activity he prefers.

Sorry but at 4 if he doesn't like it to the extent he's not distracted into enjoying the lesson then you don't make him go. Jesus Christ, how's he going to find a hobby he does like if he's wasting time on one that not only does he "not like" but it makes him look forlorn?!

Fair enough if it was a bit of whinging about switching the TV off followed by wholehearted joining in once he was actually there, but he obviously doesn't like it if at just 4 he isn't naturally distracted into joining in properly.

Why does everything have to be a bloody life lesson? Tried it (and given it a good go by the sound of it, 7 weeks or so), didn't like it, move on. HE IS FOUR YEARS OLD FFS.

Find something else he enjoys that doesn't involve regular participation.

At this age activities should be fun and if he’s not enjoying it and has given it a full term I think they should be able to give up.

My parents were like this - if we started something then we had to carry on, even if we found that we didn't like it. What happened was that I became too scared to try anything new because I had no way of knowing whether I would like it or not and the fear that I would be made to carry on with something that I didn't like was too much.

I took a different approach with my children. I encouraged them to try anything that they wanted with the caveat that I wouldn't buy equipment or pay for long courses until they were sure that they wanted to carry on.

Find another activity for him. Let him finish the sessions you have prepaid.

We are normally 'finish the term' parents, however, he's only 4 so I'd let him stop and look for something he enjoys. He might be too young for extra activities or just too tired.

There's loads of other activities he can try till he finds something he likes.

No need to make him attend a class he doesn't like!

He's allowed to try different things to figure out what he likes. He doesn't have to like everything.
Should insist on sticking at when they have committed to a performance, play for a team, & however many sessions you paid for in advance (which should be explained to them).

He won't want to try anything new if he was never allowed to quit stuff he didn't enjoy.

I'd find something else.

I'd tell him he needs to do to a physical activity and give him a choice of local things.

Football, swimming, dancing, trampolining?

I don't agree with forcing them to try but I do believe in teaching them the value of healthy lifestyle and physical activity and having an interest outside of school.

Sorry - don't believe in forcing them to stay

Let him stop. He doesn’t need “character building” yet. My dc are now 7 and 10. Our rukebhad always been, if they chose not to go to an activity for 3 weeks, then I stop paying. Not counting illness and holidays of course. Thus has worked well to filter out what they really enjoy.

Thanks for your messages, yes there definitely is a disparity between the pre school sessions. And i agree that life lessons don't need to start so early but I don't think that I've been cruel to him by making him go . He's not kicking and screaming by any means he just says he doesn't like it. But yes, I think today will be his last session.
Thanks for your opinions

I’d have spoken to his coaches to see if there was anything they could try with him. Maybe it is just the difference between actual gymnastics and preschool though as they are very different and gymnastics is very disciplined often for safety.
I think for me how the child is during the class itself is a big issue- so my daughter who funnily enough is a gymnast used to cry and get really really upset about going to gymnastics but when she was in the class absolutely loved it. So we did “push” her to go. But if she’d been miserable we wouldn’t have continued.

My DC have to continue going for the rest of the series of lessons I've already paid for and during this time I try & find out what the real problem is. With gymnastics with DS, it was a specific issue which a quick email to the instructor resolved; with piano with DD she simply didn't like the teacher, we tried a couple of things to resolve it and then changed teacher and she's now flourishing; with ballet with DD, at an end of term session when parents were allowed to watch I realised she was perfectly able and doing what she had to do but looked utterly bored and a couple of the other children were behaving in a manner which would irritate DD so she stopped.
I think that they do have to learn a bit about perseverance but, at the age of 4, it doesn't have to be gymnastics which teaches him that.
Also, I think you have to look at their lives as a whole. At that age, my DS used to see going to school as a real chore and something I am making him do so he got even more upset if he is made to do other things too. School also exhausted him. DD always enjoyed school so getting her to piano has become a bit of a battle but it was only 30 mins of her life each week & she understood that.

That's the right decision. Why would you pay money for something that makes him unhappy? It doesn't mean he's a quitter that will alea give up on activities! Maybe hell enjoy cricket, chess, tennis, cooking, football, drama, scouts, swimming, cadets, rugby, dancing, art, skiing, surging etc etc there are thousands of activities he could love and thrive doing.

I would stop the gym (maybe wait till end of term - how long are you paid up until?) but only if he tries something else eg martial arts, football - whatever so long as it’s physical and with a different crowd to school. I am really keen my kids have different groups with non school friends just in case if any future school changes/falling out with kids.

Yes, I'm paid to the end of term. So was planning to wait it out until Easter. He's just finishing up now and looks happier but I don't think the gym is his thing.

My 4yo has been doing gymnastics for 18m and has had a couple of spells of saying she really doesn't want to do it anymore/she doesn't like it etc etc. Her face once she's in the gym tells a different story and she always bounces out of her lesson telling me all the things she's done. My standard response is always she is welcome to quit any time, but the decision has to be made at the end of that week's gym session. Funnily enough she never wants to quit then...

If your DC looks miserable doing/after it then just quit and do something else. Life is too short, and there are so many sports/hobbies to try. If it is something that has been previously loved I would be looking to work out what has caused the change and if it can be remedied before dropping it, but ultimately would let them quit if they still wanted to.
The only activity I would consider compulsory is swimming. Thankfully both DCs love it but on the weeks they waiver I tell them they are welcome to quit the day they get their level 8 badge.

Yes, those are my thoughts on swimming. Thankfully he likes that and football too. So he does have other activities that he enjoys.