How to explain 'where babies come from' to 6 year old

[WashnGoGoGo]

DS is 6. I've always said I will just talk to my children about sex in an age appropriate manner and not let it be a 'thing' but I failed at this

So twice recently DS (age 6, year 1) has asked where do babies come from. And I basically fudged it and distracted him - I'm not impressed with myself and want to rectify. Thing is I'm just not sure what to say to him? What is age appropriate for 6? It's the mechanics that I can't decide how much to say. We already talk about different families/ two mummies/two daddies/single parents etc. And we talk about consent in a basic form such as listening to people, stop as soon as someone asks you to. Even if the person isn't able to speak (talking about baby sibling but trying to plant the seen for later life) you must still stop if it's not clear they are happy etc. He's clear on the pants rule and secrets vs surprises so it really is just how much and what to say re babies that I'm struggling with - please don't judge too harshly!!

Is he literally asking where they come from?
Or how they are made?

To a child they are very, very different questions.

Mums carry a tiny egg inside them with is fertilized by a man's DNA, the egg growns into a fetus, which gets bigger and bigger over 9 months until it's born.

My DC have asked this at about the same age. I said to them that you need a part from a mummy and a part from a daddy to make a baby and it grows in the womb. They also know how they're born, as they asked. I said some babies come out of the vagina and some babies come out of the tummy. They got very curious about it all when my DS was pregnant.

I'm a secondary science teacher and I personally think as honest as possible the better (within what you feel comfortable saying). Students have all kind of misconceptions when they get older. You don't need to tell them the full mechanics but don't lie either.

Would you get away with saying that the daddy gives a special cell called a sperm and the mummy gives a special cell called an egg and they join together and started to grown in mummies tummy into a baby. There is the risk he may ask how they get there so be prepared but it might just hold him off until you feel ready to tell him more.

If it's something you feel embarrassed about there are some really good books available to read together here: www.theschoolrun.com/best-books-for-children-about-puberty-and-sex
It gives an age guide and overview of each so you can pick one you think most suitable for you.

I have a 6yo. I started off talking about a mum's egg and a dad's seed, called sperm, meet and make a baby. It then grows in the mum's womb until it's ready to be born.

After a while the dc asked how the egg and seed meet, and I told them that adults do something called having sex where the man puts his penis in a woman's vagina, and the seed comes out of his penis and into the woman, where they meet.

They seem pretty unscathed by the conversations.

@stompythedinosaur if all parents were like you that part of my job would be a lot easier!

@whitetulipofpeace this is exactly why D... acronyms are troublesome (I always read ds as son so did a double take on your post )

When mine asked at 3 or 4 I just said there's a seed and an egg, baby grows in Mummy's tummy etc.

Later they asked how the baby gets out - so we talked about there being a special hole for the baby called a vagina.

At 5ish they asked how the egg and seed get together - that's when we talked about penis in vagina. They haven't asked anymore details about sex yet though.

@Stompythedinosaur we said similar to ours at that age. But all within the context of consent, relationships etc.

I found it more uncomfortable and they weren’t phased at all 😂

Funnily enough i had this conversation with my 5 year old today. Explained that mum has an egg that needs to meet a man's sperm to become a baby and this happens by having sex. She then said but what if I want to marry a girl and have a baby so had to then explain the basics of artificial insemination. Honestly, the more relaxed and honest you are the better - then they know they can trust you and talk to you about anything.

I've done pretty much the same as smoggle when my DC have asked.

They have been totally unphased by the answers and then flip conversation to dinosaurs or trains or something equally random.

I'm determined to do a better job than my parents tactic of complete and utter avoidance - I came from 'The baby shop' apparently. FFS.

My 4 year old was told,
The Mummy and Daddy had sex, which is like a grown up cuddle. During sex the Daddy's sperm mixed with mummy's egg and a baby began to grow. After 9 months the baby is big and strong enough to be born so mummy pushed baby out... (he was up late with chicken pox so saw me watching one born every minute)

I told my 6 year old and the next day he said "There's got to be some other way, right?"

he was quite keen on having babies up til then

Just tell him in basic, simple terms.

The Mummy Laid An Egg Book is good for showing the basics.

I went with mummy has the egg, daddy provides the seed, and the baby grows inside the mummy.
They did ask how it came out and I went with 'birth hole', which then led into 'females have 3 holes- wee hole, poo hole and birth hole'.
At that age they didn't ask how the 'seed' got into the mummy, but when they did, I answered factually. They were older then, so I added the correct terms at that point. I think I veered away from the correct anatomical names as they were quite likely to announce their new knowledge to all and sundry when they were smaller, and I felt I could cope with the twee words better in a social situation. I'll never forget my fairly young DC explaining in very clear language (and quite a loud volume) about how the dog was castrated and his testicles were removed.

DS is 7 and is so far happy with how babies get out of mum. He likes to ask why he came out with tweezers, why DD was hoovered out and why his cousins came straight out of the tummy.

Where Willy Went is a great book my 6 year old loves the n this topic. There a video too I think.

Please please be honest, mum has an egg, dad has a seed, etc

Get a book that tells him factually, but is age appropriate, and read it with him. I find that a much less embarrassing way of talking about it.

Just tell the truth - I went with the theory of answering questions as they came up but by 8 DS hadn’t asked a damn thing. His little sister did aged 5 so I just sat them down and told them both the whole shebang (mechanics of sex, consent, non-“typical” family setbups and therefor other ways of conceiving, periods, sexually transmitted diseases) I didn’t tell them anything they didn’t ask about so they don’t know about masturbation or sex other than penis in vagina....

DS was much more embarrassed than DD and I def think it’s an age thing so would advise on just being very honest at a young age when they’re more likely to just take it in as another fact

At 5 I got DS a book called "let's talk" when he started asking questions and refused to believe my explanations. It's very matter of fact and quite easy to read.

However the questions they come out with don't get any easier, DS read the part about the penis>vagina, said yuck, asked if me and his dad ever did that when I replied yes he asked if he could watch DH still hasn't got over that conversation

my 4 year old asked last week i was mortified thought i wouldnt have to answer this question for a long time yet I daid to him.

When a mummy and daddy love each other they have a special grown up cuddle and daddy has sperm and mummy has an egg they join together and grow a baby in mummys tummy then mummy goes to the hospital to have a baby lots and lots of sleeps later he replied with Can you make me some toast?

I could have explained better i suppose if he asks again i will do my best

We have just had this with 5 year old DD. She wants to know how the seed the gets there (she is not daft). I fudged.

Problem is that we tend towards full detail explanations. We have looked at diagrams of the circulatory system and drawn our own. We have airbrush whole afternoons comparing animal Skelton pictures online. Etc etc I know what she really wants is some detailed diagrams of the reproductive systems.

I have no problem giving her this and explaining.

I am however worried about what she then says at school to her friends. There is alot of baby play. And then I am 'that parent'.

Finding it hard to decide what to do!

I said basically the same as Stompythedinosaur to my (then) 4 and 3 year olds last year (I was pregnant). I also bought ‘Where Willy Went’. They seem happy with the explanation.

This book should be bought by every parent to read with their child when they think their age is appropriate.

www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Book-Non-fiction-Claire-Rayner/dp/0590556088/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ref=plSrch&keywords=the+body+book+claire+rayner&dpPl=1&dpID=51JchtExseL&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1552201854&sr=1-1