If you could give any advice what would it be to a mum of 1 child (5yrs), soon to be 2?

[Thismummyruns]

Posting here for traffic and varied responses.

The end is nigh for me and today I suddenly realised the novelty of pregnancy is going to actually result in a baby & I'm bloody scared!

If you could give any advice what would it be to a mum of 1 child (5yrs), soon to be 2?

Try not to sneeze

@killpop

I've had to nail that one already!

You're sorted then

Get your 5 year old to treat the baby as theirs and get them to help you with them. That way you get rid of lots of jealous as it’s theirs not a rival.

Still spend quality time with your 5 year old.

@Redskyandrainbows67

Thank you, sound advice. I definitely think my oldest will love to have a helper role. I'm lucky enough to have a good network of family that could help out if 1 on 1 time is needed too. I'm hoping to plan some of that for the summer hols like the cinema etc

Go out as much as possible and do things that you enjoy.

Have a meal plan and laundry routine. I find those are the two things that take up the most head space and cause the most work.

Remember the older child's needs are more complex than the baby's, and if you can put the baby in a wrap sling and have them close to you while sticking to your older child's routine. I had a 2 year gap, but then there was 5 years from Dc1 to dc3 (3 years from dc2 to dc3) and that's how we avoided jealousy I believe.

Also (I know you said 1 thing, but I can't count and it's related )

Don't have your dc1 brought home by grandparents or whoever's looked after them during the birth to a Madonna and child scene. This is IMO the single most damaging thing people do and instantly sets the new dynamic off on the wrong foot - the older child is replaced and immediately jealous and worried and insecure. It takes months or years to repair. If possible have your DD pick you up from hospital with your DH and all go home together.

I had the same age gap between DS and DD.
Before baby arrived DS and I had a chat about anything that m igth be worrying him over new baby - he said he was worried baby might take and break his toys, so we worked out where we would put toys so baby couldn;t ge them and also had a chat about babies not being able to do much for ages so wouldn;t be able to get toys, and also that baby would have baby toys.

When baby arrived he had a doll to change feed etc - but he wasn't very interested in it - so he helped with actual baby, getting her stuff ready for changing, rocking her in the baby chair etc.

Wheneever i breast fed when he was around he snuggled up with me and I read him a story at the same time - so it became a nice thing for us.

When he visited in the hospital I had got him a toy from the baby.

Basically things carried on much the same.
I found it a really good gap, he was actually thrilled when the baby arrived, very pleased it was a girl.

He was a very caring big brother and very protective of her - and they've always got along very well, and always been very proud of each others achievements (they are both grown up now) I think the age gap meant they were never, competing or wanting the same stuff at the same time. Also DD idolised him and was happy to trot around with him fetching and carrying for him !

Def don’t have the baby in your arms when your first child first meets the baby - have them in the cot - a neutral place

Know where all the local playgrounds are. Babies take f*ing forever to feed (regardless of how fed) and you need somewhere safe for your DC to entertain themselves when the baby demands a feed.