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Mother so rude about my relationship

3 replies

Idolikeanicepieceofcake · 09/03/2019 18:44

My mum has recently started to pick faults in my relationship. She has done this with all my relationships in the past since I was a teenager. My partners are either too young/too old/from a poor background/unattractive/not educated enough etc. When I do break up with someone she always feels the need to say how she told me so, even if we haven't broken up for the reasons she thinks. She now feels that my incredibly kind, sweet, hardworking, loving DP of 2 years is not appropriate and that I would be better off alone. Apparently because I earn more than him he will never be able to support me if I want to have children! She also dislikes that he has children from a previous relationship, saying I shouldn't have to help raise someone else's kids, which is absolutely not an issue for me. Ffs, her own husband has children from a previous relationship! I can't understand why she can't just be happy and supportive of me. It has upset my DP now as he feels that she hates him even though he's done nothing but be polite and helpful to her. I don't want to have a big family bust up over this. How am I meant to deal with this? P.s. Sorry for this being such a rant.

OP posts:
Easterbunnyiscomingsoon · 09/03/2019 18:47

My dm was also this critical. Flounced out of my house one day and I went nc for ten years as a result!!
She was never happier than when I had a failed relationship.
Unfortunately as a dgm she was as toxic and we have been nc again for over 7 years.
I have absolutely no regrets.

stanski · 09/03/2019 18:50

It's not correct but I had a similar but not in a dispregiative way, conversation with my mom before I married DH. It was more of a - I like him and am happy for you and will support you whatever you do but beware that your life will evolve around DSS to some degree and he prob will never earn as much as you. However he's a very good dad to his DS so that actually means a lot (she too had married someone w kids already).
I took it in and married him and yes I'm still the main earner, yes we need to factor in DSS in everything we plan but I would do it all again. That said if you are relying on your salary mainly when you have kids you prob will struggle slightly.
If she's saying it as a warning thing take it as it is. But if she's done this before and it's in a negative way only then that's not right either

Happynow001 · 10/03/2019 15:20

How old is she OP? I'm just wondering if she's she lining you up as being her designated carer somewhere along the line - which would be easier if you did not have a DP/DH and children in your life?!

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