Over 60’s,no kids, anxiety when your to anxious to go out, what do you do with your day

[granadagirl]

Hi
Long long suffer of anxiety/ depression
So today not a good day from waking, aching and background chatter talking, do I go out if I do will I feel worse than I do now. Was going to go to sisters, not really one for visiting when I feel like this, but part of me says just do it! Then I get the agh no.
I’ve been like this since 12 today still here 2.20, doing things round house to see if I can muster up any enthusiasm/mood change.
One min yes, no min no

If your a bad suffer, what do you do with your day?

Nobody

I agree with the part of you that says just do it! Your brain/anxiety is not telling you that you can’t do it but to just do it. Utilise this. The worry of not deciding probably causes you as much anxiety as getting out. What did you do in the end?

Stay in ! Potter around house.
Didn’t feel good about not pushing myself, but can’t really afford to put pressure on myself, as it makes me worse

I hate anxiety/depression, had it most of my life.

OP, sorry you have had a struggle today.

I have to deal with my anxiety when I don't feel too good/am very tired [in my late 60's]. Sometimes I know to push myself, other times I have to give in to it as forcing myself will make the situation worse and the day will not work out...making me feel worse than ever. I have to avoid a lot of pressure if I can, to keep my stress levels steady.

I have to see people/situations when I feel confident and if it feels right...then I enjoy what I am doing, and am not fighting my way through [and people can tell]. I've learnt the hard way that to push on to do more than I feel able can lead to a very bad day indeed and disturbed nights.

I know others without this problem just do not, cannot, and will not understand. My reasons for anxiety would surprise most people, but no one is interested so I deal with and manage it all on my own. It's tough, but it's probably good that others do not know the battle I go through and do not have to deal with it all themselves.

On the days I stay at home I read the papers, use the internet, do some gardening, crosswords/word puzzles, write some poetry, plan meals, eat good food, pamper myself, do some baking, or some decorating, read a good book, watch some good television. It's what I need to do, I relax, enjoy my day, I've usually done something constructive and recharged my batteries. I don't feel bad about it.

I do know what it's like, grenadagirl. The only thing I miss from when I had a job was the structure it gave to my week, even though in the end I was only working two days a week.

I agree, cafesociety, that so many people just do not understand. The number of times I've been "advised" to take up a hobby... Well, yes, I've got the time and money to join a yoga class or U3A or go on day trips to interesting places. But, of course, all those involve getting somewhere on time and/or interacting with people, and the stress involved would cancel out any benefit I might get.

grenadagirl - I've got a notebook in which I write basic things. It would look to others as though I'm just keeping track of when I went to the ATM or to a shop to buy food. But actually they're notes of what I've done, i.e. what I've achieved, after the event. It's not a diary - that's about appointments, which send my stress levels high anyway (not good if it's an appointment with the doc to check my blood pressure).

I also take vitamins, especially vitamin D. I'm not sure how much those help, except that being deficient is probably not helpful.

I'm on Mirtazapine. I have tried Citalopram and Sertraline, but both upset my guts. Dealing with anxiety/depression is exhausting just in itself. Add in to that the pressure of the "ought" and "should" - which is basically what other people think we ought or should be doing - and there's a lot of energy used up trying to psyche ourselves up. And for what? You're doing things and achieving things. It doesn't matter if that doesn't fit in with other people's ideas.

Pottering is good. It's an effective way of getting things done. It's probably the way things were before clocks started to rule our lives. And if you don't want to go out, then don't go out. There's so much in adverts and the media about socialising and having lots of friends as some kind of marker as a successful human being. Quite frankly, I'd hate that kind of life. I've got to the stage in my life where I say, "sod that, it doesn't work for me".

My "pottering" days, which are actually most days, resemble cafesociety's last paragraph. Those are achievements as well as being pleasurable. And no stress, which is the best thing of all.

Thank you ladies for taking reading and replying, I thought I was the only one on here with really bad anxiety!

It’s so true people tar everyone with anxiety with the same brush.
It’s not, there are people who have little background anxiety, there are people who have anxiety, BUT still able to carry on working(and think if they do, you should do)

I had to literally give up work in the end through anxiety/depression,
At the age of 43 it got to the stage where I couldn’t sleep knowing I had work the next day. I’d get up and straight away I’d have dry heaving my stomach churning over & over. My appetite went completely
, the thought/smell of food me heave. I was already on medication.
I’d eventually push myself to work, shaking,light headed and full of dread of the 8 hrs being there.
I eventually had to go of sick, this was for about a year. I had HR phone calls, visits to my house all heightening anxiety.
In the end, the offered me a package and I took it.

I was so poorly I was under the secondary mh team with a psych and a cpn worker. I was agoraphobic, not eating,sleeping and a anxious wreck. Lost 2 stone in weight.
I’ve since been back in mh services twice more(currently) but this time the goal post have widened massively, as mh services are in high demand.

So no two people are alike! Some can still carry on working (well done)
Others it’s life stopping and people don’t understand.
Like you say ladies, people say things like
Get a hobby
Join a yoga class
Socialize
Go for a walk
Etc etc
But for some it’s more than frightening, heightened anxiety and just wanting to flee. Why would you put yourself through that, when you don’t feel good to start with.

I can only do things, (everyday normal things for some people) like
Supermarket
Hairdresser
Dentist
Visit family
To enable me to do this, I have to take extra Diazepam

Koosh I have a notebook, but in mine I write how I feel that day.
I did this to remind me of my better days. But thinking now, it probably isn’t helping me as I go through thinking how I feel before I get out of bed. This can have a negative effect on my day, if I’m not good
So I will change it to your idea , thank you

I do put a lot of pressure/guilt on myself. As I think just do it, or feel guilty I havnt spoken to sisters or visited and it’s exhausting
I have a partner who hates staying around the house, but I’ve learnt to say if you want to go out , go. I need to feel less guilty about not doing things

I take vitamins also, vit D , Magnesium spray, zinc, omega’s
My medication is venlafaxine and Diazepam

My potterdays are general household cleaning(when I in the mood)
Reading,iPhone games,Internet,tv progs and when weather permits outside in the garden. It does sometimes feel I’m doing the same thing everyday and that’s when the guilt hits me again. Should be doing this, could be going there.
I need to accept this is me now.