what to say when? quick combacks needed

[Custardo]

quite rudely i thought, the first words said when a colleague walked into the room was "oh custy! you look unhappy" (i wasn't) at my quizzical and confused look it continued ..."turn that from upside down and all that".

it was said definatley to put me to the back foot in front of very senior colleagues who then think i am unhappy about the issue we were discussing. i find it hard to think on my feet espescially when something is intended to be mean spirited. what should i have said?

i think saying "that's an odd think to say" puts the onus back on her. but could come across as a bit bitchy

I d like " it can be difficult to read people’s expressions, can’t it?’ - but as it is a question it is askng the conversation to be continued - so there would be follow up

so in my back pocket - depending on scenario, i will either use the first or the second. the second with a follow up so... "it can be difficult to read people’s expressions, can’t it?’ but im well how are you"

I'm fine thank you, can't smile wide enough

It is OK to be a bit bitchy. It is OK if someone thinks, you, a woman, is not lovely.

It's true that if you occasionally stop somebody in their tracks when they're in the middle of undermining you that it shouldn't be so very terrible to be perceived to be 'sharp' or defensive. I should be comfortable barking out a ''Get down''.

Reading for tips, as my fil will say rude shit to me when I’m off guard

Wonder if the person was saying that on purpose not only as a kinda dog but also to shit stir with the managers
Like a tactical thing ?

I've just remembered one I read.

If you really can't think of a response, say ''OUCH!" with a smile. Like, you're dealing with it, but wow. It calls the person out without you saying anything 'mean'. It is a tiny bit defensive but it doesn't make you look too sensitive, or defensive, or aggressive or blah blah blah (any of the other things that can be held against you just for trying to bat off digs)

‘Do I? That’s odd.” ‘Anyway, getting back to projected demand, Boss - I was looking at the figures for...”

Always good to reply with a question like "really, why would you say/think that?"

I'm developing this one in my head now!

"ouch! wow, are you hangry, I have carbs in my first aid kit Claire''.

Is that too mean? would people think 'duchess don't be so mean, *Claire was just asking you if you were tired/old/stupid?

*fake name

yes " ouch" thats good

lady lizard - it was most def a tactical thing - no doubt about it

I tend to go with "sorry, what did you say, I didn't catch that" but in a pleasant , expectant way which, if it's a quip, often results in them flustering

Or one I had the other week, when someone at work randomly came
Up to me in the kitchen and said something about me being intimidating at interviews. I just said "oh right". Blank look. "I'll bear that in mind"