First time out with baby & feel like I'll never leave the house again!

[Firsttimemummy19]

My baby is 7 weeks old and today I decided to take him to the shop to get a few bits and basically see how we do out & about.

Firstly it took me 15 minutes to get the pram chassis in the boot. I have car adapators so the car seat fits to the chassis thinking this would be easier but I'm only little and everything was so awkward. From trying to battle the chassis in the boot to even trying to get the car seat in & our the car.

I don't have the money to replace the pram or car so I feel like I'll never venture out with my baby again while he's still small and I'm reliant on pushing him in a pram :(

What's the answer? Do new mums tend to stay at home?

Practice with the car seat and Oran. They become second nature after a while, but are hellishly difficult to start with.

As others have said, but a sling. This is especially important for short trips, when you don’t want the faff if the buggy. If you get a stretchy wrap, you can put it on before you leave home and put the baby in and out as you need.

I also always carried a rucksack-style change bag, which made it much easier with the sling.

Good luck on your adventures.

If you ever have a second child, you will look back on this and wonder how on Earth it took you so long to get out of the house with just a tiny baby. I know I do! I can get just baby and me up, dressed and out of the house in under half an hour now (45 minutes including DC1 at almost 2.5), took me almost 2 hours with DC1.

You will get there and not give a second thought about it within a month or so.

Leave the car seat in the car , that’s what it’s really for . Far better for you , and baby to be out of it. Slings good and a lie flat pushchair .
Have a day bag ready every night in case you need to go out the next day , one less thing to think about . I also used to leave another bag in the car , just in case as was initially always forgetting stuff .

I'm just remembering the first time I took my baby out 😂 it all went reasonably smoothly, until I returned to the car, and realised I didn't have the slightest idea how to collapse the chassis of the pram. You tube on my phone saved the day!!

I remember being in the multi story car park when DS1 was 6 weeks old, having cut short our first ever visit to the shops (c-section).

He was crying, I was - given I couldn't work the car seat or collapse the pram - on the verge of bursting into tears myself. As I struggled I saw two young women stroll across the car park. Both had young babies in buggies. They were chatting. And laughing. And they had small babies! How could this be ???!!!

A few months later and I had it sorted.

You will get there.

Ah OP you will be fine.

I couldn't drive for six weeks, section and live in the middle of nowhere.

At six weeks I left in the dark at six am and drive forty minutes to supermarket. I had practiced the night before putting up and down and thought I would be OK. I had not practiced lifting in and out or using the adapters for the car seat. I couldn't get it to sit correctly, I had them on backwards. I cried and drive home again. That night I went back to stable and practiced again. Then small outings, day by day. It gets easier and like everything with babies the next stage brings something else to worry about!!

The things I thought were huge worries yesterday are gone and tomorrow's worries are there but it is just all learning and stages, you will be fine.

The first few times do take ages, but please don't give up - keep trying (some days you will totally fail to launch, but don't worry) and it will get quicker.

I agree with walking if you can. A local library can be a godsend, especially if it does a rhyme time or similar. For me it was a free and easy way to get out of the house - and I noted babies hardly ever cried during it!

Have you both been inside for 2 months?
It really does get easier, go again tomorrow! Honestly, no, generally new mums do not stay at home (obviously there are cases where they do!), it will become the norm soon enough.
Do try out a little walk with the sling as you already have one. Also, do you have a local selling page on Facebook etc? I bought a maclarens stroller which laid flat for each of mine, car seat stayed clipped into the car, they were transported in and out of it - I didn’t can’t if they woke up or not when they were tiny, they soon nodded back off, it was just more important to be more easily portable.
Have another go again, tomorrow is a new day. I bet no one in the street was even aware of you, but I can relate to thinking everyone was watching - it always feels that way doesn’t it?!

Personally I can't see the point of prams. Most people don't seem to use them much. Mine all hated them. Sling and a lightweight buggy that lies back all the way here.

What sort of car seat do you have? Are you having to attach it to the isofix in the car every time, or strap it in/out of the seatbelt or does it clip on and off a base?
I recommend a clip base type one if at all possible (appreciate that this might not be financially viable but worth mentioning to others reading this before buying a car seat).

For getting the chassis in and out of the car, make sure that you have the seats as far forward as possible to maximise boot space. Look up your buggy brand on YouTube- I found some videos that were really helpful to show me the most efficient ways to collapse and lift mine, in terms of hand placement and stuff.

I have a 14 week old and I still refuse to take the pram in the car unless my husband comes with me! I find it really stressful getting it into the boot and last time I nearly fell over while trying to do it. I highly recommend using a sling, the added bonus is that you don't have to faff about trying to manoeuvre a pram once you are out and about, and you have both hands free!

I bought a cheap £15 coat from Primark in a larger size, and wear both the sling and baby under my coat.

Don't give up altogether with the pram. Are there any youtube videos to help you practice how to collapse it easily in the privacy of your home? I found putting it in my boot with the wheels pointing upwards helped it fit better (Oyster 2). It is nice now that i can just use a lightweight stroller though.

I never owned a pram.

First time I took my new baby out I jumped on a bus, baby in a sling, spare nappy in my handbag,.

Easy.

Forget the stretchy and get a proper baby carrier- I have one that is so easy to get on and off and will last til hes 3

And baby shouldn't need to be in your coat as heat from body should keep baby nice and warm as long as dressed sensibly

We had the all singing all dancing travel systems for our two, but honestly if I had the time back again I would stick with the MacLaren XLR that I had as a holiday buggy and the sling, and that would be it. So much faffing about for just a few months. But you will get the hang of it. Practise makes perfect. Can you bring the stuff in and while your baby is napping put YouTube on the TV and practise several times? And practise again with the baby? You will laugh at this later, once you find out it's not too hard - just familiarity

@rubyroot which carrier do you have?

First time out alone is stressful, poor you. I managed to get to the shopping centre, got a few hundred feet in and he wailed and wailed for food. So I sat and fed him, then got back in the car and went home (5 mins in the car) I had been out of the house over and hour at that point. My deoderant had failed, I was dripping stress sweat and collapsed on the couch for the day.
It gets better. Practise with the car seat and wheels folding and unfolding and shoving it in the boot. Forget the pram.

You’ve just reminded me of one of my first trips out with dc1. I was on my way to visit my husbands work when Krakatoa went off and poo went everywhere. I turned off the motorway and into a supermarket where I stuck the car seat on the pram wheels for the first time and sprinted into Tesco. Clothes were covered car seat spared, clothes off and not a nappy in the change bag. Chucked a Muslin underneath, naked baby back in the car seat, blanket on top and off to the nappy aisle praying for no wee or poo. Bought nappies, and baby swiftly sorted patting myself on back for coping. Back to car to realise I hadn’t a clue how to release car seat from wheels. Twenty minutes of wrestling with what felt like an audience of 50 the car seat was free and we continued on. Making it safely to my dh work. I’m smiling about it 4 years on. Don’t be put off going out, practice helps but babies like to challenge you.

I didn't have a car when the dcs were little but had good transport links. I was out walking round the common with the pram after a week...I was physically well and bored stiff.
I took the bus and train a lot with baby in a sling.

@Firsttimemummy19 jeportemonbebe- it’s amazing

My daughter took one trip with the prim with her firstborn..it was never used again
She used slings, different styles as baby grew , constantly. Ring slings, Mai tai and those ones that were huge lengths of woven fabric that she wrapped around her body and the child slotted into.
It was quite an art form watching her wrap about 10 feet of material neatly around waist , shoulders and all tucked securely in.
All three children benefited from this and all had lovely shaped heads too.
I’ve even seen her with the youngest in a sling at the front and an older one in a sling on her back.
She’s 5 feet 4 and a size 8-10

They were chatting. And laughing. shock And they had small babies!

This still baffles me and dd is 3!

Don’t be too hard on yourself op, the first year is finding your feet (then they become unfathomable toddlers so you just submit yourself to the madness). Dd screamed at me the first few weeks/months if I tried to take her out. Sling or pram, it didn’t matter. It got much better when she started taking an interest in the world around her. My point is, most of us have a stumbling block and we all find a way around it.

I would strongly advise attending a sling library if you can. I spent a fortune on slings, some I didn’t get on with and some dd didn’t (the wrap one was the winner and the cheapest) and found out much later there was a sling library held just up the road from me. It wasn’t really advertised but nct ran it in my area.

Have you both been inside for 2 months?

I honestly don’t think that’s uncommon, if you’re struggling and your confidence isn’t there it’s a massive step for some women. Not to mention recovery from labour/pregnancy may have had an impact.

I also have a theory winter newborns are harder to take that first step with. It’s far to easy to look out the window at the cold shitty weather and think ‘fuck that’. Plus your daylight hours are much more limited.