Need to start using a walking stick. Feel very sad about it.

[MayorMumbum]

To cut a very long story short, I'm in my mid thirties. I spent most of my childhood in and out of hospitals having major orthopaedic surgeries (25 of them) for some congenital leg issues. I had my last surgery at 19.

I always knew my joints had a shorter shelf life than most people and the Dr's expected me to start needing replacements etc in my forties. However in the last couple of months my hip and knee are both in quite a lot of pain and my limp is a lot worse than normal as a result. I am waiting for referrals etc but in the meantime the GP has suggested I start to use a walking aid, a walking stick or crutch, most of the time.

Now I know I'm being ridiculous but I am really, really upset by this. I know I need it and that it would help, but I feel that by doing it I will finally be "accepting" I am now disabled and that I won't get any better and it's now just going to get worse. I am worried my DH won't find me as attractive and I'm worried it will embarrass my DC's and that they will get picked on at school (also worried about stares on the school run, I already find it very stressful).

I suppose I just need to vent and get some support on how to fully accept this is the new normal and how to get brave enough to start using a walking stick out and about - the school run etc. And what if sometimes I have a good day and don't need one, will people think I'm faking it the rest of the time?

I'm just feeling really sad about this situation even though I know there are a huge amount of people worse off than me and I am eternally grateful to the NHS for even getting my legs working for as long as they have. I'm just having trouble accepting the situation .

DW has cerebral palsy. It mainly affects her legs. I always knew that she would end up using a wheelchair full time and now it has come to pass. I still love her and I still find her attractive -- after all, she's still the same person even if she is in a wheelchair. The DC are now high school age and they aren't embarrassed by her (or no more than any teenager is embarrassed by their parents!). And yes, she sometimes gets a bit upset by the stares, but basically, f*ck them.

Adjustment is hard and you're having to do it at a young age. But in time, it comes to us all anyway; just today we had the elderly neighbour in for a cup of tea while the estate agent showed the house she can no longer manage to a prospective buyer as she has to move to a care village.

So take heart. The people who love you will still love you, and the rest don't matter.

Thanks everyone. I'm going to look for a jazzy one on the weekend and try to get up the guts to use it next week. I have a lot to be grateful for and it could always be worse. Think I just needed to have a moan about it!

Moan away and hope you manage to adjust to your snazzy stick.

Sorry to hear this, OP. I hope you find a suitably snazzy stick!

I began wearing hearing aids in my mid 30s. I had similar feelings to you - gutted it was "forever", thinking I'd look odd, uncertain my then-boyfriend (now husband) would like that aspect of my appearance.

It was so hard putting them in for the first time.

Some years on now, I'm used to them but they do still annoy me occasionally, like when the wind blows into them so I can't hear what people are saying, or my hair rustles against them non-stop. Even now I get a bit sad that this is my life for the next potentially 40+ years.

Moan all you like on here - I totally get it!

I have many sticks. Largely because I often go on holiday and forget to take one so end up buying a new one.

The best are those that have a spring handle that I use when walking the dog. They prevent pain in my wrist.

OP
I am in a similar situation, although I am a lot older than you. I still never thought I would need a stick yet. It is demoralising and depressing, however, it eases the pain and in some ways it makes life easier.
I am terrified of being knocked over or falling because that will always result in a fracture. I can't stand for long and I do find that having the stick is helpful in encouraging people to give me a seat on public transport and also allow me a bit of space.
I have good days and bad days and TBH I have enough to worry about without including what other people think.
If it makes your life a bit easier use it.

You're allowed to moan! Don't be sorry about that.

Good luck on your stick search this weekend.