Gifted money - splitting between family

[beenhereages1]

Hi

I'm after others opinions on this if possible , I can't ask IRL as the family have been asked to keep it quiet. For this reason I'm going to have to be abit vague about bigger details

A child went through a serious illness and is being supported, by a charity, to go on a holiday of a lifetime. The charity have managed to get a lot of discounted tickets for the family.
As the child's mum is unable to go the charity offered to help arrange tickets for one grandparent in her place- other GP pays for self.
Due to the help from the charity a huge amount of money has been saved. The rest has been funded equally between the child's family and the grandparents ( split 5 ways - Dad paying 3 parts , GP paying 2 ways)

Today the family heard that someone has been in touch with the charity and wants to pay a huge contribution towards a families holiday, and they'd been chosen. The child will be sending a letter after the holiday to say thank you. The man hoped his donation would pay the majority of the holiday. The family are staggered by the generosity of the man.

The GP's have a considerable amount of spare money, the family don't - Mum unable to work due to child's constant medical requirements, so things are a little tight. Not hugely, but the donated money will make a big difference to them.

If you were in this scenario would you split the gifted money so as to save money for everyone? Or would you expect the money to pay for the child and their families part of the holiday?

Actually the case is the holiday is soon so has just been paid for so the charity are refunding the amount the man has given them. So would you give that money to the child's family so they ended up paying a tiny amount or would you split the money 5 ways ( 5 people travelling) and give 2/5 to the GP?

Thanks for reading if you got to the end!

I think the money should go to the immediate family of the ill child. Why should the extended family benefit from the charity's gift at the expense of the affected family, why do they feel their holiday should be funded at all?

The child , siblings and accompanying adult should have holiday funded and any other money should go back to the charity so they can do something for another family

Thank you both.

@Floralnomad - the money falls just short of the cost of the holiday for the child and immediate family. They're planning on doing something to pay it forward to another family in the future

Not sure I fully get it....but the grandparents and dad have paid for some of this trip together and now money is being refunded. You don't know whether to keep it or share it to reduce the amount still to pay. I would offer it back to GP and see what they say. I'm sure if they can afford it they will either tell you to keep it, or to give it back at another time when the family needs it.

@Ramdogs - The GP didn't expect any help towards any part initially, then the charity said that as the child's mum wasn't going they would provide the discount towards one of the GP in her place

Wasn’t Dad already effectively subsiding the GP’s. If I was the GP I’d be at least saying it was spending money which I’m guessing is tight for the family.

@user1474894224 - the family and GP have split the cost of the already discounted holiday. Payment has just been taken but now they've heard actually someone wants to pay ( a 4 figure sum) towards the child's holiday, so the charity will send back what has been donated.

The GP had paid using their card, as the family had transferred to them their amount, and so it'll be refunded to them.

@NWQM - not really, the cost had been fairly split between the dad and the GP. However the GP benefitted as the child's mum couldn't go. The charity wouldn't have arranged the discounted tickets for them otherwise.

If I was donating I would presume that I was covering the costs of immediate family or people having to travel. So addition carers rather than just addional holiday makers.

Thanks everyone, you've all been pretty unanimous about it.

I hate money talk and found the whole concept of a charity helping etc overwhelming and now this incredible person donating a huge amount just amazed me.

Now the GP have an expectation that they'll get a - in their words , fair- cut of the donated money and I feel odd about it. They will get it but it feels like they're benefitting on the back of the child's illness. Don't get me wrong, they're lovely GP, but they weren't deeply involved in the trauma of the illness ( at least no where near as much as the child, his sibling and parents) and it's them expecting money has left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth. Particularly as this money will make very little difference to them and a huge difference to the child's family.

I've been struggling with my feeling of this. It's very unlike me to feel like this but something about it upset me.

You're right to be upset. It's pretty shameless of them.

The donation was to the sick child's family. I think the grand parents are being a bit Granby especially as they are not short of a few bob by the sounds of it.

It sounds like the immediate family could put it to better use tbh rather than treat the grand parents.

@cstaff - definitely not short of a few bob, this once in a lifetime trip for the child and his family is one of 3 foreign holidays this year for the GP's. The money will mean very little to them, they just think it's only fair that it gets split with them. I'm really struggling with their idea of " fairness"

As I say, they'll get the money, I can't fall out with them over it, but it's left me with a horrible feeling about them

Gah I hate money talk