Should I pay for my friend?

[dellacucina]

I invited her to a lunch event with two of my other friends whom she doesn't know. We had to pay one of the other friends in advance (£40)

The friend who didn't know anyone broke up with her fiancé the day before the lunch. I tried but failed to find a replacement. She now has had to pay deposit etc on a new flat following the move

I feel bad. Should I cover hers? At least half?

If your friend doesn't have much money because of the deposit I'm sure she'd appreciate the thoughtfulness of the gesture. If she is ok financially I would just tell her I was there for her whenever she needed me which would mean a lot to her the support of friends during a break up means far more than anything that can be bought.

Was it £40 deposit each? I've never heard of paying a deposit for lunch. I'd this a restaurant?

No, it was a special lunch event that had to be fully prepaid.

Nancy - its common for events like ladies lunches etc.

If you can afford it I'd cover it but she might be embarrassed by it.

You can tell I don't go on 'ladies lunches' then

I think it would depend on her circumstances. If she's broke and I knew that, I would tell her the restaurant refunded 50% or something. I would at least try and help her out if I could afford to do so, and try and make it look like it came from the restaurant rather than me. Really, the money was already spent whether she went or not, so I imagine unless she's desperate for the cash, she's probably written it off anyway. So, as I say it depends on her circumstances.

Ok, thanks everyone! On balance I think I probably shouldn't pay because she already had planned to swallow the expense and I don't think she has financial problems. I just felt a bit bad

me either, but I organise them for a living.

Della, sounds like a nice thought. Maybe some flowers or something would be nice.

I would offer her another lunch, not a big event , but low key and nice place. Chance for her to dress up and be out with you.