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Help please..

4 replies

MartinWWZ · 06/03/2019 20:05

I've never posted here and never asked for help, but I just can't see how to make progress in my life. So if anyone can offer any advice at all it'd be much appreciated....To cut a long story short...
I am a dad, 51, with 4 girls (aged 19, 16, 15 & 11). My ex left me in 2011 and went on a couple of disastrous, abusive relationships. These ended by c.2016 and since then she has been living in her mum's spare home about 15 miles from where the schools are. She's been getting her act together since but is now largely a part time parent. She has some of the girls some of the time.
During all this I have been the primary carer and stability for the kids. I have also been working full time. It's exhausting of course. But we have no surplus money or assets and I rent a family house in order to keep it all going. It keeps some continuity and allows the younger kids to continue at school.
So here's the issue. I'm just at the end of my tether and the mum is unable to do anything. She has no income or probably inclination to change the housing situation. So I'm stuck looking after the kids, paying out all I earn and year by year losing the will to live. I think if I was paying a mortgage and felt like it was for something then I could cope. But it just seems utterly pointless now. Trouble is my youngest only starts high school this Sept so I've still got years left of it.
I could go on for hours but that's the essence of it. Happy to provide any further info as required. Thanks guys.

OP posts:
pusspuss9 · 06/03/2019 20:10

Hi

I don't have any solutions here but didn't want to pass by with saying please don't give up - your daughters need you and love you. Please hang in there for their sake - hard as it is. Sending hugs your way.

MrsMozartMkII · 06/03/2019 21:30

You might not have a house, but you have for daughters for whom you've provided everything. That has to count for something no?

ssd · 06/03/2019 21:34

God you don't have it easy. But it sounds like you're doing incredibly well. Hang on in there you sound like a brilliant dad. Your girls will thank you one day.

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marvellousnightforamooncup · 06/03/2019 21:43

There is no easy answer. Just remember how important what you're doing for your daughters is. It's far from pointless.

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