Anyone been able to avoid softplay centres?

[Harebellsies]

Every single children’s birthday party seems to be at one of these indoor softplay centres, DD loves them but also doesnt like being there in a big group with only one or two adults in charge. I know there are varying degrees of cleanliness and safety but the rooms are vast, interconnected, and there are no reception measures to ensure that children are not taken away by the wrong people. Also usually some odd older childen (as in dubiously 17+++) being very rough.
My main issues:
-The parents holding the party usually cannot keep track of the kids in the cavernous spaces.
-there is usually a sprained ankle or two
-dangerously rough older children
-nothing to stop children being abducted
-paedophile heaven

The alternative is that DD, 6, never goes to these parties but only the ones held at home or safer places. So hardly any, just extra playdates until she is 8+
Anyone successfully managed to mostly avoid such scenarios? I know i am very pfb so yes, laugh at me as much as you like but please no vileness (hence not on the other high traffic board), laugh at me to convince me it is not so bad.

Also, anyone had any dangerous issues or children hurt at such a birthday party? Hopefully not.

Isn't the point you stay with your children? It's just a park - but indoors! Would you leave a 6 year old at a public park by themselves?
My daughter has only been to soft play twice. Both birthday parties. She didn't really enjoy it so I have never gone again.
All the risks you mentioned would be at an outdoor park too.

I prefer soft play parties/hired room to home ones. Both hosting and those DD attends.
Safety - DD was pretty heavily shadowed by DH until 3.5. No one commented on this being weird. Also, parents stay to supervise their own children.
Some aren't the cleanest but word of mouth usually dictates parents use the cleaner ones.

We've been to 2 home parties (she's only 4). They were both from DD's friends who had a different socio economic background. At one I was treated to a rundown of how social services were involved in the family and psychological abuse from another parent toward her child. Could also have happened at soft play, but I'd have felt safer and that DD may not have witnessed things due to small living room where the abuse took place. Both parties were very hard going. I don't generally associate kids parties with booze or fathers sitting on the sofa drinking monster energy drink.

Sorry are you saying there are people hanging out in soft plays at 17?

I've been to loads soft play parties with mine over the years and I've honestly never encountered any of these issues.

All the soft play places around here you need to have a child with you to get in and you have to sign in and out and be buzzed through the doors.
And, once they're school age, soft play parties are about the only parties around here where all they parents always stay

That being said, I don't think any of mine have really gone to many soft play parties past the age of 6

Sadly no, been to lots. Big noisy chaotic places, DCs loved them until recently. Thankfully they are now getting passed it (youngest 9).

Up till now we have joined her at each party (being the only other parent there at about 8 softplay parties). The parents were slightly aghast that /DH insisted on coming but understood due to DDs shyness, but every time it was worth it because the parents there were busy with taking kids ro the loo/tending to upsets/getting out food/chatting.

I just feel not welcome and as if it is rude to ask to tag along. No one else does this.

Here, the parties are held at softplay because there is not enough space in the houses and because it is winter, and softplay is relatively cheap.

I might ask to tag along again because i dont like the places we have round here and am worried.

Round here there is no signing in, no buzzing through. No one at reception is even checking who is going out. Adults coming in can just say they are here to pick up their child and are allowed in. There are no tags and no security. Also no CCTV

Yes, there are secondary school children allowed too and they are really rough. And many who claim to be secondary school children but look about 25!!! And there are usually 3+ interconnected cavernous play halls, few or no supervisors, and if the parents are sitting at the table then they cant keep an eye on the kids.

I also have a baby in tow so once she starts to crawl it will be disgusting. But manageable.

The culture here is really for the inviting parent to drive all the kids over and drive them back. Thats ok if it’s a mother I know and trust, but not ok if its her DH that i dont know/boyfriend/another friend/strangely cunning looking grandfather alone in the car with them.

Well, your soft play does sound awful. I've never been to one where people could freely enter and leave. It also normal for parents to stay (I thought that was normal everywhere).

Assume you’re not in the UK.

Presumably if the places let anyone in you don’t have to ask the party host to “tag along”, you or DH can just get a hot drink and stay, on your phone or whatever. That’s what I’d do.

Yes. I've managed to avoid ever having to go to a birthday party in one by the simple means of having a child with autism and ADHD who hasn't been invited to a birthday party since reception (he's now in Yr 4).

“Strangely cunning looking grandfather”

Soft play is hell but if you don’t like it just say you are busy. How often can it be that this is a problem?

I always stayed at soft play parties.
Too much chaos and not enough supervision.

strangely cunning looking grandfather

The mind boggles 😂😂😂

OK so im not entirely insane and the pfb-ism not completely idiotic. Not what i expected actually!

Sorry to hear about that QofFE

I’ve always stayed with mine at parties for the inevitable tears/ toilet trips but the places themselves are ok to be fair

Sorry about the description but two of the children each have grandfathers who look as if they have been dug up from an old battlefield, one of who was very very chummy with me, stroking patting me on the back/neck as a first greeting, which is entirely harmless but quite odd. Its an older generation so they are forgiven. Plus the cunning looks, its just odd. Nothing to do with eye form or shape, just microexpressions i tend to pick up on.

@Harebellsies not sure were you live or were these soft play centres are, sounds rough though 😬 would never leave my DD at a party, usually thats the wrong thing to do on MN xx