Lighthearted - add to my list about the rubbish parts of being a new parent!

[Peekingduckonthefence]

This is meant as a light-hearted post; and I don’t mean to offend anyone, nor do I need a tell off as to why I should be grateful for my pregnancy etc, my baby - who I adore - was conceived with medical assistance and the run up to him being born was anything but lighthearted so I am relishing being able to take the piss just a bit!

I posted earlier today a bit of a rant about postpartum bleeding and how, six weeks after birth the occasional spotting is doing my head in; I then whined at my sister about despite loving my baby, being a new parent can be a bit, well, shit, she agreed.

What would you add to my list of why sometimes being a new parent is shit.

1. Everything downstairs not being back to normal at any great speed... why can’t I poo like before!
2. Bleeding. So annoying. I could have shares in Always. My GP assures me I’m normal but when will it end!
3. Boobs. Like puppies in socks. Leaky puppies in socks. No bras fit properly. In no mood to face actual shopping for bras.
4. Explosive nappies. Baby poo under your nails. Grim.
5. Sore. Sore. Sore. Everything hurts some days.
6. Dp’s amazing ability to sleep through the baby crying.
7. So much washing generated by one so small.
8. Some days with the baby are really quite boring.

Remember it’s just a bit of fun!

Congratulations OP!

Taking a companion to the toilet with you!

Feeling like your insides will shoot out every time you cough or laugh

Ah yes, you’ll never poo alone... at least not for about four years anyway.

The sleep deprivation can be crippling. I remember looking at the clock in the living room and wondering if the hands were going around backwards.

You get so good at the hip sway to rock your baby to sleep, that you start hip swaying even when you’re not holding the baby.

Congratulations on your baby OP and

I have a 5 week old and can relate to this.

How about the random outbursts of "I just need to have a good cry" ? Had a few of these over nothing. Feel better after though.

Getting bottle prepared or clothing adjusted ready to feed then he falls asleep.

Changing his nappy for him and it being only wet, only for him to do a huge poo immediately after which needs changing.

Not being able to just get up and go. Miss just grabbing my keys and phone. Now it's a checklist as long as my arm before leaving the house!

Changing a vest and sleepsuit your newborn has wet through at 3am. Why are the popppers on sleepsuits so fiddly?

The unsolicited advice you will get from everyone. I’ve played “how did anyone survive in my day” and “rod for your own back” bingo many a time

The fact that sometimes you will just be frozen in terror at the fact you are the main carer for a tiny scrap of human life (two in my case as I have twins) The responsibility can feel utterly overwhelming at times.

Ah yes, you’ll never poo alone... at least not for about four years anyway.
My kids are 5 & 8 and will still come in when i’m In the toilets 😂 I can’t put a lock on the door... really need to find the key for that wretched door
Congrats on your baby OP 😁

How old is newborn OP? Just out of (slightly jealous) curiosity!

When you've cleaned the bathroom then they have a shit in the bath

(It's rare but always happens after he's not been for a few days and think he's relaxed in the bath) still shit though...no pun intended

Congratulations on your new little one

@crunchymum he was 6 weeks on Sunday, so he’s not exactly a newborn, but he’s only a little thing!

The fact that you would sell your grandmother in a heartbeat for a good night's sleep!

When DS was tiny he had this inbuilt radar for any time I got hot food ready to eat and would scream and/or I sit on feeding for so long it was cold. Every. Damn. Time. For a good 3-4 months. He did the same every time I ran myself a bath too. Little monkey

When DS was tiny he had this inbuilt radar for any time I got hot food ready to eat and would scream and/or I sit on feeding for so long it was cold. Every. Damn. Time. For a good 3-4 months.

Mine too! I got very good at eating with one hand, and with one boob out...

All visitors come only for the baby and bring stuff only for the baby.

I always make an effort when I visit a new mum to ask how she is and bring gifts for her. I don't want to make anyone feel like they're a baby machine and shove them to the side while I coo over their child.

You will forever (well next few months) have milky drool down your back, over your top, on your trousers..... patterns will become your friend!