Not sure how to word this so please bear with me. Basically for as long as I can remember I've been a shy person, not helped by years of being bullied terribly in school. However in recent years I've felt my confidence and self esteem really hit a low point. Circumstances have led to me being a sahm for most of the past ten years, and though Im. Studying for a degree through distance learning Im basically qualified for nothing at the moment.
To that end I've recently started doing some volunteering at my dc's school to gain experience alongside my studying and it's just highlighted to me how shy and awkward I am. I feel fine talking to the kids but I'm so socially inept with most other adults bar a couple of the TAs who I already knew previously.
The teacher who's class I'm helping with is really lovely and has made it clear its fine for me to either go in the staffroom or go in the classroom and chat with them while the children are outside playing but I can't seem to do either as I just feel that I have nothing interesting to say, nothing to offer, and will only make a fool of myself!
In certain familiar social situations or where people come up and talk to me I'm absolutely fine but I just can't approach people anymore or go into an unfamiliar situation without feeling inferior, or as though people will be laughing at me behind my back or dislike me!
Reading this back I know how silly it all sounds. I know that my worst enemy is myself but I can't seem to snap out of being this way, and it's making me feel so sad. I feel lonely and like a freak
. Underneath it all I'm a nice person who cares about people and has a good sense of humour if I say so myself 
but I can't seem to let that show to most people for fear of rejection.
Sorry.... Very long!!!