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Gift for a depressed friend

14 replies

Notmyrealname855 · 05/03/2019 14:06

Hello :)

A friend of mine had a horrible series of events happen to her last year, and is in grief counselling. A lot of us have rallied round and she has lots of support (plus a good therapist). She’s described it as like having flu, but emotionally. She’s taking small steps at getting back to “normal life”.

It’s slow steps and I know not the only answer but... initially she liked having flowers in her flat, which she said were very cheery. So a group of us took it in turns to buy her flowers each week.

But we’re wondering what else we could get her as a pick-me-up gift? She doesn’t like baths so oils aren’t possible... we’ve already got her special soft pj set and socks, moisturisers, candles, we’ve taken her to a spa and afternoon tea. I’ve bought her sudoku books and others have got her novels (she can’t do long ones, or anything too challenging). We’re not doing endless gifts, some of these were for her birthday etc.

Any help would be appreciated! Have you come across good self care ideas? The lists online are all much a muchness

OP posts:
OpiesOldLady · 05/03/2019 14:11

How about a nice notebook with some pens? Maybe a little paint set too so she can draw or write?

A lovely cuddly blanket, maybe weighted a little so that she can wrap it around her to feel a little safer?

Notmyrealname855 · 05/03/2019 14:17

Those are great ideas, she does love drawing too..! Thank you Star

If anyone else has ideas, feel free to add! Will go with a drawing set but would love other ideas too

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QuaterMiss · 05/03/2019 14:19

Theatre, galleries, concerts. Things to take her out of herself, if she can face that.

And walking. If possible. Somewhere wild. With a dog. Or gardens, arboretums, sculpture parks ...

Ilovecrumpets · 05/03/2019 14:22

I know you said no bath oils but one of the nicest gifts someone got me when I was going through one of my periods of depression was some lovely shower gels. I used them every time I had a shower and it really made me feel just a little bit better - it reminded me of the kindness of that person every time and also felt like a little something where I was taking care of myself with no extra effort.

Tenpole · 05/03/2019 14:38

Bulbs planted up but not in flower yet

OpiesOldLady · 05/03/2019 15:12

I had a nervous breakdown last year and I'm still recovering. One day my DP bundled me up in a blanket and took me for a drive to the coast. It was early January and almost deserted but we sat on a bench and feeling the blustery wind on my face was just fantastic. I can't do people much but this was perfect. It reminded me I was still alive.

Would it be possible to do something like this with your friend?

justonemoreminutepls · 05/03/2019 15:37

how lovely you and your friends are op, although she's had a horrible time, how great that she has you all! keep it up x

TeaforTwoBiscuitOrThree · 05/03/2019 15:49

cook her a nice meal, put on a girly movie and watch in your PJ's, stay over at her house aftewards, then full english in the morning :-)

KnittingSister · 05/03/2019 15:54

Outside, walks, gardens, beach, hills, time, you're a good friend SmileFlowers

paap1975 · 05/03/2019 15:56

You sound like fantastic friends. What about some of those adult colouring books, or a gratitude journal? Go with her to a (small/quiet) concert?

EllaEllaE · 05/03/2019 16:21

Food.

  1. Fill her freezer with hearty, comforting food in single portions that can be very easily heated up. When you're depressed, doing basic things like cooking is hard. Having some back up meals on days when she can't face cooking will be a big help.

  2. Get a selection of treat foods that can either be eaten now or put in the larder for when she needs a pick me up. Nice cheese, fancy crackers, snacks, chocolate covered raisins. Things she wouldn't buy for herself (because when you're depressed you don't think you deserve nice things).

Parsley65 · 05/03/2019 17:12

She is very lucky to have you! Flowers
Anything that you can both enjoy together would go down well. Simple things like a walk on a sunny day, coffee and cake and/or anything that will lift her out of her usual routine.

cafesociety · 05/03/2019 18:47

I would say a trip out somewhere too. Afternoon tea and cake after a walk, go somewhere she has never been [local beauty spot, stately home, gardens], a trip to the theatre or cinema, or an evening meal out. Or each take a prepared course [starter, main, desert, wine, cheese board] to hers and have a meal with her which she hasn't had to do...and have a nice evening.

Anything to divert her attention and take her mind somewhere else.

Notmyrealname855 · 05/03/2019 18:49

Hello! Thank you all for such wonderful ideas StarStarStar

Can I just say that I wish there was a grief guide - the food suggestion is great, we got in the habit of just stocking up her kitchen with meals (she left her door unlocked), and she always says that was the most helpful.

Let me know if you have any other gift ideas :) she lives quite a few hours away so we do activities at the weekend and little gifts mid- week. She’s a great friend and deserves more than we could ever give.

Flowers to all of you as thanks!

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