Have you gone from shy, awkward and quiet to powerful confidence and social skills master and if so, how?

[TransplantMyPersonality]

Im fucking sick of being this crappy timid, shy and awkward person. Its literally ruining my life. I have even been suicidal about it and I've tried so hard so so many times but I just can't seem to change.

Its everything from not knowing what to say or how to act. Being too quiet, not being able to approach people, small talk, having a quiet voice, not being assertive, freezing, feeling awkward. The whole thing. How the fuck can I turn myself around.

Is this just my make up of who I will always be? I hate it and it's getting me extremely depressed. I want to change and don't know how. Please help.

Thank you! There's some really good tips here! Ive been like this pretty much since early childhood and I hated then too. Im not young. Im 37! but like I said I've tried and failed so many times but I so want to do this. I was losing hope thinking this is just me and I won't be able to change hence I decided to start the thread and wondered if anyone else was in a similar position. It's nice to hear others' stories. ..

One thing I really hate is my voice. It sounds so weak and quiet and almost childlike. I want to be able to talk louder and project my voice better and sound more confident but a pathetic sound just comes out. Any ideas on how I can do that?

As a kid, I was painfully shy, and still am. Being five foot and petite doesn't help. But since I trained to be a teacher, and then ended up in a role where I delivered training to adults, the way I built my confidence over the years included the following:

1. Voice training workshop/drama/amateur operatics. You basically put on a persona when you go out there. Nobody else knows how nervous you are. The voice training in particular (it was a workshop at my local theatre one Saturday afternoon) made me realise how you can get the environment to work for you - if you're in a room with lots of cushions and curtains, that absorbs sound, while hard surfaces reflect. We also did a little bit of voice care as part of my teacher training and he was super - pointed out that singers etc have microphones to help them project their voices, and people wanted to listen to them, while poor teachers were in front of 30 people who often really didn't want to be there at all.
2. Working on body language. Again, in one previous job I was lucky enough to attend a workshop given by someone who had coached people for things like Strictly, and his tips included things like ensuring eye contact, pronouncing words clearly etc.
3. Working out what my niche/area of expertise was and concentrating on that; it meant when I did have to give presentations I was fine as I knew no matter what question someone threw at me I'd have an answer for them and I knew I was right.
4. Yoga and breathing.
5. Practising public situations in my head.

Also, think of the most confident person you know, in real life (dead or alive) or on TV/screen etc. What gestures do they use? What makes them so confident?

And conversely, what's the root of your lack of confidence? Mine stems from being lousy at PE in a school environment where it was the only subject valued, and being very badly bullied. And what are the things you should really feel confident about? Two of mine were learning to type and passing my driving test, given that I'm slightly dyspraxic (hence the PE thing, though the PE teachers we had didn't understand that).

And do have a look on YouTube and TED talks websites as well, www.ted.com/playlists/259/talks_to_give_you_a_confidence

Good luck!

GroatGruff thx great tips!

MollysLips what?! Seriously? That's amazing! I have heard it causing anxiety as a side effect for some ppl.

OP, a voice coach or something like Toastmasters for your voice?

Practice singing alone in the house, get really loud so you get used to more volume.