Should I identify as Jewish?

[patsyagain]

My situation is that my father is fully Jewish born in Israel to jewish parents who survived the Nazi's and met in a displaced persons camp after the war, both are now sadly passed away many years.

My Dad met my Scottish Catholic mother in London in the 80's. He ended up staying here with her they married and had me and my two older brothers. I was raised to understand my mother and fathers religions and cultures both Catholic and Jewish but not really raised in either of them. I know that I am not considered Jewish by Jewish law. My dad says I am what is charmingly called "seed of Israel".

My question is that I have an uncommon name in the uk and it sounds Jewish to a lot of people and I get asked if I am Jewish a lot. I always said no but that my Dad was or that I had Jewish heritiage. But recently when asked if I was Jewish and i said no I was criticised by a Jewish woman for denying my Jewishness and for "passing" and that now in the current climate of anti-semitism that all Jews need to stand together.

I just don't know what to think of this, she has a point I guess but I was always told that a Jew is someone who parctices Judaism and I don't. I feel like I am in the position where if I say I'm Jewish that could be wrong and offensive but if I say I am not Jewish that also seems wrong and like I am denying a part of myself.

I would like to hear opinions from posters, especially Jewish people if possible as to what they think of this and what I should do?

Doesn’t the Jewish line pass though the mother . ?

Yes it does, thats why I don't identify as Jewish but I am now being challenged on that by Jewish people.

I have plenty of friends who consider themselves ‘culturally Jewish’, as in they are from a Jewish background but they don’t believe in religion. I think if it’s somwthinf you feel a connection with then it’s your heritage and your culture.

I’m not Jewish but personally I wouldn’t call myself anything that I had to question. Your identity is yours and what you call yourself is nobody else’s business!

Well, if the Jewish line goes through the mother, you aren't Jewish then, are you? I expect you could be if you wanted to, but if you aren't bothered then you're no more Jewish than I am! It obviously didn't matter to your df, so it's no one else's business, is it?

I suppose you are or you aren’t - no ‘identifying as’ (unless you see it as a race rather than a religion).

Where this woman had a bit if a go for you saying ‘no’, there are plenty who would also have a go if you said ‘yes I am - my dad was Jewish but mum was catholic’.

Another Jew here. I’d say something like “Half Jewish, Dad was Jewish, mum was X”. Yes Judaism is matrilineal but most reform Jews would, I think, accept that someone with a Jewish father would identify or acknowledge their relationship with Judaism. And the point about current antisemitism is neither here nor there.

how you identify yourself is totally up to you and down to your own feelings.
To me it makes sense that whatever religion you practice is the religion you would say you are if you don't practice or consider yourself to be eitheir of your parents religions then if someone asks you are you Jewish then you aren't - kind of the way you explain it above.

"I'm not a jew, just jew-ish."

• Johnathan Miller

DHs (living) DGM was a WW2 refugee as a child, never practiced. He'd describe himself as 'of Jewish decent', though it's his maternal line so not quite the same (a recent Jewish speaker at diversity thing I attended said maternal line is still considered 'more Jewish' at her synagogue so you'd have fewer hoops to jump to 'join' if you had unbroken maternal line).

I think if your father was actually Jewish and taught you the customs you're more Jewish than DH though.

In your position I'd say 'Half Jewish' and people will understand that and it shouldn't get anyone's back up. Honestly, whatever you want to say about it shouldn't get anyone's back up really.

The orthodox synagogue in the UK wouldn't accept my mum as Jewish because her mum converted in a Communist country where there were not (and could not be) any records of the conversion, despite the fact she grew up facing massive antisemitism and her father's family were almost completely wiped out by the Nazis, so you can imagine how she felt about being told she didn't count as Jewish.

If your mums not Jewish then you're not Jewish... theme the Jewish rules.

I'd just say no, I'm half Israeli

If you are comfortable saying that you have Jewish heritage, then that's absolutely fine.

If you 'feel' Jewish, maybe through your connection to the religion, are familiar with some of the culture, practices, beliefs, and want to call yourself Jewish, then that's absolutely fine, too.

The connection you feel to your father's religion is personal to you and it is up to you to claim it. That claim should not be imposed upon you.

Some streams of Judaism simply require you to be born to a Jewish mother, others to be born to a Jewish parent, others to have one of the above plus some form of Jewish upbringing. Reform would accept you as fully Jewish.

The matrilineality in any case is a red herring. Unless you want some formal connection with the mainstream Jewish establishment, such as getting married or buried, it is irrelevant.

I understand what the Jewish woman said to you about sticking together, but she was wrong (and I say that as a Jewish woman who agrees with her point). Because you are not denying or 'passing'. You are owning the connection and claiming what you feel is right - which is your way of being openly part of Am Yisrael. So you are doing exactly what she (and I) feel is the right thing to do.

I guess you could say "My dad was Jewish but I wasn't raised that way." No one should give you grief, whatever you say.

Am thinking that a friend with Jewish (atheist) dad & lapsed Catholic mum used to call herself half-Jewish, would occasionally come out with some Yiddish slang, but rarely embraced her Mexican half.

My friend was in the same boat
Maiden name Levy, mum non Jewish..she never identified as Jewish
When I met her she was married and only found out about her Jewish father about 2 years ago.

Thanks for all the responses. I think saying half Jewish or my father is Jewish / Israeli is probably best although its saying that which got me in trouble before!

I probably am more culturally Jewish than some people with Jewish mothers and antisemitism and being told I am turning my back on Jewish people does upset me because many of my fathers family were murdered by the Nazis and I'd never want to show anything other than solidarity but as I am not religious and have no intention of becoming so it felt wrong to say, yes, I am Jewish.

Thanks again!

I am the same - non practicing Jewish Father, non Jewish mother.

If you are half Jewish but you are culturally Jewish then I don’t see the problem. I think it’s more problematic to force an identity where there is no affinity despite lineage. If you do identify as Jewish because of your father and you identify with some cultural practices then I can’t see why wouldn’t identify as Jewish.

I have non believing Jewish friends who are also culturally Jewish. My understanding is that it is not just about religious beliefs per se but also about that sense of cultural affinity and belonging. You could, I guess be fully Jewish and feel none of that.

When asked if I’m catholic I reply “my parents are” which I think covers the whole culturally catholic thing and my upbringing without getting into my personal religion (none, am atheist).

If I were you and someone said “are you Jewish” I’d answer “my dad is”. Anyone who knows Judaism will know what that means.