Poorly grandparent

[Pinkginxx]

My grandmother is very poorly at the moment, without being too pessimistic I think we’re coming to the end (sorry, probably better way of phrasing that). I’m devestated, and I feel like I should be coping better. I’m nearly 40 and so fortunate she’s been with us for so long. I feel like everyone expects to lose their grandparent so I should be ok with it but I’m not. I’m a mass of conflicting emotions, from being a bad granddaughter and not seeing her over the years as much as I should, to constantly thinking of my childhood when I thought she was the best thing ever, to the unwavering love she’s given me.
I feel like as an adult you’re just supposed to accept that it’s something that happens, but the grief is overwhelming.

Sorry, not sure what I’m asking here. Other than I feel it’s not ok to be upset I suppose

so sorry OP. Offering a handhold.

Would you like to tell us about your lovely Gran?

Another hand to hold here.
We're all supposed to be grown ups, but often, we're all little girls inside when it comes to the tough stuff. It's fine and okay to be sad about a situation like this.

Tell us why she is so special to you. xxx

I was heartbroken when my nana passed away I was in my early 20’s and felt shit as I had not spent much time with her as I should since I was about 15. She was a wonderful loving nana who took me to see every carry on film I had so much fun with her as a child she took me to see all the sights of London and every summer we spent a week in broadstairs together stay with one of her old war friends. Im nearly 60 now and I still think of her with wonderful memories I now have my own granddaughter so I now know that I must also have given her a lot of happiness and pleasure as that’s how I feel about my granddaughter. So just think of all the wonderful times you had together and tell her how much u loved being with her and what a great grandmother she was to you and that she will always be in your heart. Loss of a loved one is never easy.

Oh she’s as mad as a box of frogs. Stubborn as hell, but I could murder someone and she’d tell everyone I was in the right. She had a big part to play in my upbringing, then in my 20’s I moved away and would just phone her once a week which is killing me right now. 15 years ago I sent her a bouquet of flowers for her birthday, it was the first time anyone had ever given her flowers. She left 8 messages on my answer machine trying to get hold of me, but no I was out getting pissed.

Nanalisa60 Thank you. That helps x