My only Daughter

[Emms80]

As a Mum of 4 ranging from 4-18 and a lot of heart ache and ups n downs, my only daughter, my 11 yr old is pushing me to the limits constantly bad mouthing me to her father and complaining about me! My 3 oldest are from her father 18 and 14 yr old boys I have a 4 year old son from my current relationship which has been solid for the last 7 yrs. I feel as though she hates me! She looks right through me and scowls all the time, my oldest lived with his dad and came back 2 yrs ago telling me it's the best thing he has done and wished he never left. I'm at a point where I really wouldn't mind if she went to live with her dad, yet it broke my heart when my son left just as his father and my relationship broke down. Am I a horrible mother for not caring if she leaves to live with him

Her gender has nothing to do with anything so I don't know why you keep mentioning it.

All 11 year olds are difficult. Or 99.9% of them anyway. It's not personal...how can you take it as such? They push the ones they love and trust the most.

It's a difficult era to be 11 in...they have a lot of pressure from peers and media.

She's probably hormonal. You should try to spend some quality alone time with her instead of wishing she wasn't there...she probably senses your thoughts.

Yes I understand that it's difficult with social media and such, I do try to spend time I help with homework and offer to go shopping with her but she wants to go with her friends which is natural. Obviously I've had 2 previous 11 yr olds I know they're all different but I'm struggling to even try to find a common ground with her.

Find a show she likes and get into it. Something to share with her. DD and I bond over RuPaul's Drag Race. (older than yours)

Ask her to write a list of all you do for her.
She will be surprised I imagine.

Thanks for advice guys!