Funny injury stories please!

[Greenandcabbagelooking]

I’m sat in minors by myself with a dodgy ankle. Pain, swellings, pins and needles, the works.

All because I stood up to leave the dinner table. I feel so daft, I have no idea what I did to hurt myself, but it hurts so much.

Please entertain me with your stories of silly injuries.

I have 2 for you .

1. while getting out of bed, I flung back the duvet, in the process I sprained my wrist and my thumb. I ended up spending a week in a sling and another week in a bandage. Can you guess how many people believed how I did it. I heard more hand job jokes that week than I care to remember.

2. running down the stairs I slipped and broke my coccyx. Unfortunately uni wouldn't let me have any time off so I ended up lying down on cushions at the back of a lecture theatre for 3 weeks, very embarrassing.

I took a chunk out of my ear on a rose bush while out running once. I swear it jumped out and attacked me! It bled for ages.

I dropped an empty (thank goodness) bottle of gin on my big toe and broke it. The toe, not the empty bottle

Broke my toe when I was a teenager, from kicking the vac after dog head butted my lip

My personal trainer told me that running backwards would strengthen my glutes. I ran backwards into a bush, fell over, got badly bruised and tore my brand new running top.

Ran up the stairs at the train station and broke my foot

Home from work with a bad cold so not at my brightest and best, I went upstairs to nap, followed by the new (large) dog. The cat was on the bed; he growled at the dog, she went closer, repeat a couple of times until suddenly the dog was on the bed with the cat in her jaws. I stupidly stuck my hand into the middle of things - I have no idea what I thought I was going to do - and the cat, not unreasonably, bit the closest thing he could find. Which was my hand.

It was a small puncture, not very painful and stopped bleeding quickly but I went down to A&E because I needed a tetanus booster. I thought they'd just laugh at my foolishness, maybe a prescription for antibiotics, but they kept me overnight for IV antibiotics and operated the following morning to remove the tiny piece of skin that had been punched down to next to my joint capsule.

I got a sick note for two weeks, and work told me I couldn't come back before because of insurance liability. It was bandaged but didn't hurt after the first couple of days. It was great.

The nurse who treated me told me about a man who'd nearly lost his hand. Apparently he'd rescued a mouse and, in gratitude, it had turned round and bitten his finger. Being tough and manly he ignored it until the red marks started spreading up his arm. That, apparently, took a lot of living down with his mates.

These are brilliant! Keep them coming.

I dislocated a rib (which then went back) just relaxing as I stood in my bathroom once.
It was the most unbelievable pain ever. I had to get one of my dcs to help me walk to my bed and lay down.

I’ve told this story before but what the hell!

Big Boss was on his annual visit to our uk office from Italy. He and I were walking along the corridor chatting about a current project. I was trying to look and sound competent and intelligent. I fell over a ‘Caution - Wet Floor’ sign and went flying. Had to go to A and E for an X-ray on my wrist. Luckily only my dignity was damaged. Big Boss is still laughing every time he sees me 6 years later!

I wore stupid (and in retrospect, fugly) flat mules to work one day. They rubbed and broke the skin on one side of my foot. I shrugged it off and put my trainers on and went to the gym. Afterwards it was quite painful and the only plaster I had was one of those blister ones so I stuck that on and forgot about it. Not for that long, a day or two.

The skin around it fucking DIED and went black and crinkly. The hospital had to cut a big HOLE in the top of my foot to get rid of the dead stuff and pack it with something and put some unspeakable rubberised stuff over it. I had to go to the local nurse every day wearing one shoe for a week to get it repacked. She ended up just yelling 'Cinderella!' across the waiting room.

It was gross. I wasn't allowed to go to work and my department were Pissed Off. I used the time to finally read Lord of the Rings. No scar now though thanks to lovely nurse.

I also dislocated my rib ....Hoovering!..😳...Oh the pain 😫...But Honestly the most humiliating A&E story was when my DS 6 SEN decided to turn hetty the hoover on whilst I was upstairs (just got him out the bath!) Quickly I shouted 'turn if off now' went running down stairs as hoover was still running.
There he was covered in red marks on his stomach were he had placed the pipe, but when I looked at his face he had a look of 'shock horror and help me!'
Where was the hoover?...🙈...yep you guessed it!
I quickly turned it off and shouted for DP (ex) to look at it , to check it was ok? ....Oh no it looked like a bloody water snake toy!
DS (no speech but signs not deaf) thought it was funny?!
Took him to A&E to then been put onto a ward, DS thought it was great signing to Drs and nurses with a HUGE grin on his face that he has a HUGE willy!....I've never been so embarrassed 😳 in all my life!! 🙈🙈