NC for this as outing.
I have had strained relationship with SIL for 2 years. We used to be close until I found out she was playing me and being different behind my back. Meddling in every decision in my life. And ganging up with her parents when she doesn’t get to order her brother around his decisions in his personal life and marriage.
I distanced myself and that didn’t work and so I had to resort to expressing how I felt to her politely. That I felt I couldn’t trust her anymore because she was being rude about me behind my back and twisting my words. That I won’t interfere between her and her brother (she relies on him for everything as she is single and younger than him), but that I want my space.
This didn’t go well and she got her family to bully me and DH, which put a strain in all of our relationships including in my marriage. She also managed to block me as the message I sent expressing my feelings was over the phone and so on.
I was happy with the distance. I was expected to still invite her over and meet her at family gatherings ans so I did. I was pleasant with her and civil but not the same as before. Only ever met her as a big gathering and did my duties but not more.
She managed to still get under my skin sooo many times but I ignore her. I have zero trust in her and think she doesn’t have much remorse.
She suddenly unblocked me and contacted me, saying how she thought of me and something reminded her of me.
She is going through a turning point in life where I’m suspecting she needs help from her brother.. I suspect that’s what inspired the message.
Wwyd?
1- block her and risk it turning into a drama where me and DH get bullied by the family again but learn how to develop a spine. But I think this is very fair since the entire in law family blocked me for a long time to support her and so they don’t get to re enter my life on their terms.
2- say thank you and move on. But risk her thinking she can be part of my personal space now and she will continue building up on it for sure and knowing that I’m going counselling and haven’t emotionally healed I feel this will mess with me.
3- be direct and say - I prefer if we communicate face to face only for now. As this will leave little room for misunderstanding.