What can your 3 yo do? Parents evening feedback

[SleepingStandingUp]

So parents evening yesterday. We know DH is behind on everything compared to probably all of his class. That's OK, he was prem, he had 18 months in and out of hospital, long term o2 and a few wonky chromosome bits. Nursery said he's come along but the gap between him and his peers is the same size so for instance he's not potty trained yet, isn't speaking properly etc.

So I need to do more to get him up to speedand that is on me, not him, as he's awesome.

So can I ask what your 3 yo / going up to reception in September kids can do regards self care, communication and personal skills??

I meant to say BALL rolling, obviously

Waiting for a call back fro MSEN lead, probably be Monday

Have they shared the supporting documents to the early years curriculum with you? If you search for "development matters", it breaks down steps towards the early learning goals (end of reception goals) into rough age brackets.
But ultimately all children are individuals and do not develop at the same rates as each other, or even the same rates in all areas themselves.
I work in a nursery class and it does sound like he might officially be tracking a bit low, but I can think of plenty of nursery children who have had similar struggles at this age

@snuggybuggy we have parents evenings, why would 3 year olds parents be less interested in what their children get up to than parents of older children? They aren't as formal as later on, but they are great for parents to be able to raise concerns, ask questions or just find out about friendships and how their child is when they aren't there :)

Bloody hell, some of your kids are geniuses or genii?!!!!

DS was 3 in September (was a poorly prem but very healthy now) and is very bright with excellent motor and self care skills but can't do a lot of what PPs' kids can.

I had that brief moment where I felt I'd failed him by not noticing these particular difficulties but then remembered they're all vastly different.

OP, your DS sounds like he's doing remarkably well considering what he's been up against. He actually sounds quite brilliant.

3 year olds have parents evening now?
It's a school nursery which has the free places for 2 yo so they do parents "evening" from 2. It's a 10 minute slot so not a deep interrogation

Thank Nom he is. I think we baby him for perhaps obvious reasons but we need to do it less. He hs suddenly turned really empathic and I have to kiss every. single. toy that falls over including the cardboard cut outs from the magazines!! He even gave the piece of paper (that he threw at me in a strop) a cuddle (after I'd told him to apologise) 😍

OP my youngest started school in August. He could write his name, add numbers together, draw anything remotely recognisable. 6 months later be is reading, writing, doing sums, drawing proper pictures etc. I would work on the speech and the itty training and not worry too much about the other stuff just now. I would consider trying to hold him back a year though, even just for the social skills, so he is making friends and playing with the other kids a bit easier.

Husband isn't keen on holding in back.

Speech is an ongoing battle, weve known he's had issues with it since he was 10 months old so it's always on our radar. He seemingly dislikes consonants!!

Potty training is so hard, he has so little awareness. I've promised him an Owlette costume is he masters it, but he sat in it for five seconds, cried, stood up and asked for his Owlette costume!

That's a big present for something he doesn't have any idea how to achieve. How about a star on a chart each time he just tries sitting on the potty, then when he's filled the chart he gets the costume?

It sounds to me from your list that he’s doing fine.

Every child learns things at a different pace. You can look up the expected/exceeding goals for EYFS and compare to that.

I agree he seems to be on track with a lot of things. Perhaps try activities that develop fine motor skills, that will support being able to write. Threading beads, picking up beads with big tweezers, finger painting, using play dough can strengthen finger movements, make shapes in sand, draw any shapes in chalk, practice circles and crosses. If he does these sorts of things regularly, the fine motor skills he needs to dress himself and write will develop further. I'd do this rather than writing. Encourage independent skills where you can. He's too young to do his teeth alone so that's fine. If he can use a spoon and fork together that's good.

If he is recognising words that's great. Even recognising M for McDonald's meets one of the early learning goals.

They will be children who can do more but it's not essential at this age and stage. You are aware of his language development needs and if you are talking with him lots and are reading with him then this is what he needs.

It sounds like the SEN monitoring may be more about his language development? In my experience getting additional language support as soon as possible is a good thing. This can make a huge difference at this age.

nocoolnamesleft I did realise my folly and told him we'd get some stickers. I just wanted to a) strop 43 requests a day for sodding Owlette b) get his tush on the god damn Potty. I did do it wrong though, totally on me.

SheldonandMama my last meeting with SEN teacher picked up his poor fine motor skills so def need to focus on that. Think you're right about shapes over letters for hand control. I have some threading toys upstairs actually thay ill try again. We have some boards with zips, poppers on etc that he'll half heardely have a try at. I need to try these more and turn it into a game.

The SEN support comes from all the support and portage he had before nursery and the expectation given his medical history that he would have a learning delay. 121 has done lots of 121 focus on phonics and encouraging his communication with others but she's left. New one is pushing independence so he's working in groups more.

Tweezers were the thing I'd forgot from the SEN meeting!! He will finally touch play dough but finger painting is a whole different sensory ball game!! He's getting better!!

Will def download the targets people have mentioned

I think some of the things you’re listing aren’t things most three year olds can do - read, write properly.

I’d concentrate on potty training bit by bit. Chocolate coins worked for DD. Stickers for DS.

My 3yo is August born so will start school at 4 and two weeks.

He is totally solid on potty training and has been for about 18 months. Can have a good go at putting on easy clothes (t shirts and joggers, I deliberately buy soft slightly too big socks to make that easier). Can wash hands and wipe his face but I do teeth (TBH I still do my 6yo’s teeth or at least finish them)

Knows a few numbers by sight, no letters st all. Can count to about 15. Mostly scribbles, can’t write any letters. His speech is okay, still pretty babyish (says ‘my’ rather than ‘i’) with moments of articulation

It’s that fussed about having a friend other than family friends/siblings and needs a fair bit of direction/guidance with activities.

I am not super worried although I think he will struggle a bit socially/emotional and will take some time to get phonics etc. But I don’t think your son sounds massively behind. I’d agree that potty training and speech are the ones to focus on with as much fun games for motor skills as possible. As the weather improves, giant chalks for outside, painting with massive paintbrushes with water on dry ground, sand play, planting seeds and watering and digging the garden will all really help. Good luck!

His Potty training we know is a bug one but actually SEN lead has been great and said if he isn't in pants by September not to stress so at least they're not being awkward about that.

He recognises his numbers and can recite his street address for example but his speech is so poor no one could ever bring him home lol

DS is 3.5 - he goes to school in September. I had a parents a couple of days ago which said he is not yet school ready because he does not 'extend his sentences' in the school setting and he cannot yet write his name. He doesn't choose mark making activities and he is not good at deciding what he wants to do. He is also 'too quiet' and 'passive'
He has been toilet trained reliably for over a year, speaks well and clearly, behaves well and can count objects to ten , and recognise numbers up to 20. Apparently he failed some kind of screening about his ability to answer questions so falls down on speech and language.
It blows my mind really that I even have to attend a parents evening for a nursery age child! So I think he can do plenty but it seems not.

I have a child in a very similar position, born very premature, behind in everything (he can't do some if the things your DS can).

I've learnt that you can encourage but can't force development, just give lots of opportunity to do the things he struggles with.

FWIW we have applied to delay reception until next year, there's no way he'll be ready for school in September.